Contagious Chemistry
by Sang de Cerise
Summary: Lily Evans knows she should be more interested in the War than she is boys.Lily Evans knows that James Potter is as arrogant as he is attractive.Lily Evans knows she should not think of Sirius Black in that way.../AU, Lily's 6th Year, Marauders 7th- JP/LE
1. The Last Thing You Need

**Contagious Chemistry**

**Author:** Sang de Cerise

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** "_He'd had a problem with me since my fourth year and his fifth, when I (a stickler for rules and routine) liked to remind him and his all mighty friends of what exactly a school rule was, and why we had them._

_Of course, I've changed slightly since then – but I guess Potter still sees the fourteen year old Evans obsessed with rules._

_I had a new obsession of sorts."_

Lily Evans knows she should be more interested in the War than she is boys. Lily Evans knows that James Potter is as arrogant as he is attractive. Lily Evans knows that while everything else around her may be changing, her hatred for him will not. Lily Evans knows she should not be thinking of Sirius Black like that…

**Feedback:** Is very, very much appreciated. If you like what you read PLEASE take the time to review - I feel many authors works are lost in the sea of words and Fics that is this site without the reviews. Even if you hate it, let me know! (nicely, though, please :S)

**Author's Tid-Bits: **Welcome to the ride, I guess!

**Before we go further I would like to stress that this is a Lily/James, with a different take on how they got together. Please don't be dismayed that Sirius is an obstacle to their relationship - it al starts around Chapter 7 ;)**

I originally wrote a Fic back in about 2004 with the same name (I was CherryBlood then). Basically this will be nothing like it. I have kept some aspects of my old Fic in here, but everything else is being reworked - for the better, trust me! So if you are feeling a sense of de ja vu, I hope that explains it!

For the purpose of this story, Lily is a year younger than the Marauders and Snape, making it AU-ish.. I have also created a character for Lily which some may feel is OOC, yet I needed and wanted a Lily that wasn't Ginny or Hermione or a combination of both. Her character does develop into something you may feel more comfortable with, so please bare with me! Think Scarlett O'Hara for those of you familiar with _Gone with the Wind. _:)

I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling. Amen. Sparkadia for title and lyrics. You Me At Six's song Contagious Chemistry has provided the title for this story.

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><p><strong>Dangerously Flirtatious<strong>

**Chapter One - The Last Thing You Need**

_"Wants and needs are different beasts..."_

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><p>It was safe to say that I was not beginning my sixth year at Hogwarts well. Then again, I could say that it wasn't <em>me <em>who causing my less than perfect start to the year, but rather events and people around me.

I was a stickler for rules and routine. I could hardly tolerate change. The atmosphere this year was different, changed – the War was becoming an ever-present issue, an issue some students felt needed to be talked about constantly, discussed, argued, dissected. I liked my conversations scintillating, engaging, humorous and fun … to me, discussing the ways in which Voldemort would next target Muggleborns or Blood Traitors was (I admit, relevant, terrifying and confronting to me) something we shouldn't quite be concerning ourselves with yet. What could we as students do, really?

The biggest and most shocking change to my Hogwarts life was over the holidays, when Professor Dumbledore had some sort of Confundus Charm placed on him when he decided to make James Potter Head Boy. As arrogant as he was attractive, the fact that he was a year older than me hadn't stopped me from knowing, and hating him. He was a bully, taking pride in his knowledge of hexes, his pranks and his detention record. Gryffindor's golden boy and Quidditch hero was now Head Boy. Great.

I had been a Prefect last year, (when he wasn't) and I remained a Prefect this year. Unfortunately for me this meant dealing with Potter once a week.

He'd had a problem with me since my fourth year and his fifth, when I (a stickler for rules and routine) liked to remind him and his all mighty friends of what exactly a school rule was, and why we had them.

Of course, I've changed slightly since then – but I guess Potter still sees the fourteen year old Evans obsessed with rules.

I had a new obsession of sorts.

While I was a good student, a good and conscientious learner, I did more homework than I needed too – boys, the male species, had turned into something of a distraction for me. The male species fascinates me. I love to learn what makes them tick, I want to know why they say what they say and do what they do. I can't help wanting to know how they will react if I brush up against them coyly in the library, or if I twirl my long red locks around my finger when asking them to borrow last night's homework. I blame it on romance novels – the classics and the trash.

After spending the holiday cooped up in my bedroom, surrounded by said romance novels and an ability to see a local above sixteen's football club train at the local park from my bedroom, I'd returned to Hogwarts, armed with some new skills (thanks to my Mills and Boone ladies) and almost bursting with excitement as to what could possibly happen to my love life this year.

Only, apparently the War had proved more interesting amongst my sixth year male peers, rather than how kind summer had been to me.

This lack of interest had me where I was now. In the Common Room, at close to midnight, my almost completed but not quite History of Magic essay abandoned and the newest _Teen Witch_ in my lap. I really only had to finish my last paragraph and my conclusion, but the Quidditch Player on the front was far too distracting.

I heard laughter from the stairs and groaned. The Common Room had been empty for a while now, the Teen Witch had been my biggest distraction. The last thing I needed was people to talk too.

As they descended down the stairs I realized I wouldn't have to worry too much about being distracted, as it was James Potter and his mates, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

I had worked with Remus last year as Prefects, and we had something of a friendship. He noticed me tucked in my corner and smiled brightly, stopping in his tracks to ask, "Hey, Lily. What are you doing up so late?"

"History of Magic essay," I replied, stifling a yawn. Crossing my legs and tucking the magaziene into a text book I smiled at Remus, "You wouldn't by chance want to do my conclusion, would you?"

"No thanks Evans," Potter said, throwing himself down onto an armchair near the fire, and dropping a pile of papers onto the coffee table. "He's got much more important things to do. We all do, really."

Like sleep with any girl, anywhere? I had often heard girls in the bathroom bawling their eyes out about how James was still the one, even though he was sleeping with her best friend and her Potions partner to boot. Those sorts of things was one of the reasons I couldn't stand him – a male species I was less than impressed, or fascinated with.

Sirius Black hesitated in taking a seat with Potter. In his arms was a paper bag which was clinking slightly, with Butterbeer no doubt. He was staring at me and I cocked an eyebrow at him. Black was as attractive as Potter, and it was a tool he knew he possessed and used it well. He had the same amount of arrogance as Potter, but his was laced in a Charm that I had seen be used on many a student, and teacher. He had a carefree, devil-may-care attitude and look about him that interested me. I had often seen Regulus as a favourite at Slughorn's Slug Club parties. Regulus was the complete opposite to his brother. The Black brothers were, I hate to admit, boys I could have added to my 'research'. However, Black's friendship and similarities to Potter had stopped me.

"Summer's been kind to you, Evans." He said, setting the Butterbeer down on the coffee table. Ignoring this (but inwardly grinning) I feigned a sigh. "Remus, I thought we were friends? You won't do whatever it is you're doing and leave me here struggling to finish my essay, will you? I've been here for hours."

I leant back in my chair and smirked at him, which he returned. However, any mirth that was on my face quickly left when Potter opened his mouth to say, "Well, what have you been doing?"

He was spreading out what looked like articles and rolls of parchment on the coffee table and looked to be organizing them in some sort of order. I'd noticed Black had joined Remus' side, arms crossed over his chest. He was staring at the text book I had shoved my magazine into, and looked at me with a smirk, his eyebrows arched, knowing the answer to Potter's question. Remus shot me a smile as he turned to go join Pettigrew and Potter.

"Sorry Lily… I know you're more than capable."

I feigned a look of devastation but I knew he was right. I turned to try and reabsorb myself in my essay when a shadow covered me. I looked up to see Black smiling at me.

"What's the topic on?" He said, scanning the parchment in front of me to get an idea. When he found it he laughed, "That one was a doozy. But I aced it."

He shot me a wink and I sat back in my chair, wondering why on earth Black was interested in my essay. Before I knew it he'd grabbed my parchment and my quill and sat himself on my desk, scribbling away.

I noticed Potter regarding us with a frown and I smiled, leaning forward onto the desk, closer to Black. He stopped, placing a great emphasis on the full stop and handed me back my essay. "Binns will be more than impressed with that."

"As am I," I said, looking up at him through my lashes and taking my essay. 'I can't thank you enough."

Sirius hopped off my desk and made his way over to where Potter was, ruffling his hair as he passed him and grabbed two Butterbeers. I had begun packing up, not wanting to stay in Potter's presence much longer. A Butterbeer was suddenly under my nose and I looked up to find Sirius sipping on his own.

"Shouldn't you be off now, Evans?" I heard Potter say and I looked over at him. He had stood up, his hands shoved in his pockets, his stupid Head Boy badge catching the firelight. He smirked, "Don't make me deduct points for you being up and about so late. Rules are rules."

I felt my own words being thrown back at me, my cheeks burning up. I declined the Butterbeer Sirius was giving me and checked my surroundings for anything I'd left behind.

"I was up for homework, Potter. There's no rule against that. Besides, what are _you _doing up?"

Potter regained his seat in his armchair, apparently happy Sirius was strolling back to where they were all seated. He said, leaning back into his armchair, "I'm allowed to be. I'm me and well, you're you."

I felt my cheeks grow warmer and my temper about to reach my limits. Before I could retort anything, Sirius twisted around from the couch and said, "Come find me when you get that essay back, I want to know how we did."

I smiled at him and nodded, "Well good night Remus, Black, Pettigrew."

Amongst their chorus back of Good nights, I heard Potter say rather snidely, "Sweet dreams, Evans."

I looked back around, ready to retort when I caught Sirius staring at me, smiling. When he noticed me looking back he winked.

As I climbed the remainder of the stairs to my dormitory I couldn't help but feel that some changes were perhaps, sometimes, necessary.


	2. Call That a Comeback

**Chapter Two - Call That a Comeback**

_**"You're a champ itching for a comeback so stay..."**_

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><p>I stood at the mirror the next morning, hairbrush in hand and lost in thought. I had awoken that morning tired, but more than pleased with myself and the events of the evening. I had fallen asleep to thoughts of Sirius Black and the evening and I had to admit I awoke to those thoughts as well. I had never given Sirius much thought. The fact that he was a Marauder and was Potter's best friend served him as good enough as an invisibility Cloak when it came to my thoughts. With him being a seventh year, I didn't know him – I just knew of him. I had been witness to the many howlers he had received over the years from his Mother, I had seen him take it all in stride. I had seen him with his arm slung casually over a different girl every couple of months. I had seen the way he treated Potter more like a brother than he did Regulus.<p>

The Marauders, as Potter had demonstrated last night, were a tight bunch. They didn't really have the time for anyone else but each other and the girls they happened to be seeing – if even.

"We've been through this before, Evans. You move the brush up and down." A voice from behind me said. I smiled as I recognized the voice of Dorcas. I laughed slightly as she came up, took the brush from me and started to brush the back of my long hair.

"I was just thinking…"

"About?"

Mary, coming out the bathroom snorted, "The main thing she thinks about…boys!"

Dorcas laughed as I shot Mary a look in the mirror.

"You aren't wrong, Mary," I said, half smiling. "Sirius Black took the time yesterday to help me finish the end of my essay. I was just thinking about what that could possibly mean."

"It means he has probably exhausted the resources in his own year and needs to stat looking our way." Dorcas said, setting my brush down and leaning against the dresser to give me a stern look. "Don't go there."

"I'm not, I'm just-"

"Boy mad?" Mary offered, "We know."

I rolled my eyes but smiled. I guess it was true. A boy only had to look my way before I began searching the man manual in my head for ways for it to happen again.

"At least James Potter was certainly not happy about it," I said, pinning my Prefect badge to my jumper, and smoothing down all evident creases that I could spot on my uniform. Whatever was going on in Sirius' head had certainly caused a reaction from Potter, which I was more than happy about. To get under Potter's skin would cause me great satisfaction – it was the last year I had to suffer him.

"Still a rude and arrogant toe-rag I presume?" Dorcas asked, shoving her books into her bag. She was grinning. Mary and Dorcas had heard their fair share of my rants on James Potter since he'd made his existence known in my life. Mary giggled, "A positively dreamy rude and arrogant toe-rag."Mary, like many girls in our year, had this idea in their heads that Potter, and his mates were 'positively dreamy'. I couldn't argue – it was when they opened their mouths that they lost any attractiveness I thought they had.

"Have you heard the latest rumor from his love life?" Dorcas said, holding the Dormitory door open for us. I rolled my eyes – I would not be surprised with anything I heard. When James Potter breathed was apparently must-have news.

"Oh, please, do tell," I said sarcastically, following Mary out.

"His girlfriend found him in bed with some Ravenclaw seventh year and instead of you know, jumping up and apologizing profusely he asked her to join in…"

I couldn't help but laugh loudly at this. I knew I wouldn't be surprised. While you had to take some rumors and gossip with a pinch of salt, it still made my day to know my opinion of Potter wasn't unfairly founded. Descending the stairs to our dormitory, I saw Potter lounging against a back of an armchair with Sirius and Remus (waiting for Peter I assumed), and I dissolved into more giggles. Mary, who had the soft spot for Potter, elbowed me sharply in the ribs blushing slightly. Potter crossed his arms over his chest, looking offended that my presence (and most probably my giggles) had interrupted whatever he had been saying to Sirius – who was no longer paying attention to him. He crossed over the Common Room to push the Fat Lady's portrait open for us. Dorcas raised an eyebrow, Mary blushed and I smirked – I could feel Potter staring a hole in the back of my head. Dorcas and Mary moved to climb through and I moved to follow. Sirius ducked to whisper in my ear, "Morning."

I ran a hand through my long hair and cocked my head at him with a coy smile, as if to say, "Good Morning to you too," and followed the girls out.

Dorcas was waiting on the other side hands on hips, Mary looked lost for words.

"_What _was _that_?" Dorcas demanded, motioning to the Common Room.

I shrugged, smiling, and linking arms with Dorcas and Mary I steered them towards breakfast.

I had to admit, I had no idea…

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><p>I had endured most of that day having both Potter and Sirius staring in my direction at breakfast, lunch and dinner. And then it continued for the next few days. Granted, Potter's was more of a look of disgust, and Sirius' … I couldn't quite tell.<p>

I had received my History of Magic essay back (99% … that was Binns for you). I smiled as I looked at the grade and remembered who exactly had helped me finish it and what he had said – to make sure I found him to tell him how we went. If I didn't know better, I'd have said Sirius was desperate to know how we did, considering the amount of times he would glance in my direction at our meal times, or would find an excuse to borrow a quill, brush against me in the hall quite slyly. I thanked Merlin everyday we weren't in the same year – what a distraction that would have been for me!

Suddenly, I felt that the hunter was being hunted – sure I had had boys flirt with me, I'd heard quite a few lines over the years. But I'd never had subjected to me what I subjected boys to. The stares, the sly brushes in the corridor, the asking to borrow equipment that you knew you had on you, or that your friend could easily lend you. I had met my match.

I was hooked, intrigued, interested. The man manual in my head was about to go into overtime as to how I could get the Quaffle back into my court, so to speak.

History of Magic was our last subject that day before dinner – I could hardly contain my excitement at the process of telling Sirius how we did, and the opportunity to give him a taste of his own medicine- something Dorcas and Mary didn't fail to miss.

"Will you slow down?" Dorcas cried, being hurried out of the classroom while trying to shove her books into her bag, Mary following suit.

"It's not the first time you've gotten a good mark on an essay, Lily," She said huffily, blowing a curl out of her face and quickening her stride to keep up with me.

"Yes, but it is the first time she's going to be able to share it with Sirius Black," Dorcas muttered, finally getting her bag into order.

"Exactly!" I said, rolling my essay up into a scroll. "You know what I'm like guys… this is great for me!"

We sat down at dinner and I helped myself to a serving and Chicken and Vegetable Pie, scanning the Gryffindor table for a familiar face, waiting to feel a familiar gaze on me. After around fifteen minutes of doing so, I gave up, finally letting myself be absorbed in a story Mary was telling us about a story from over the holidays. I was about to comment when I felt someone tug on my plait – Dorcas rolled her eyes and Mary stopped mid-sentence, blushing slightly. I turned slowly, a feeling in my stomach told me I knew who it was. I returned Sirius' slight smile as he walked down the table with Pettigrew to join Remus and Potter. Potter was looking in my direction, appearing to be stabbing a piece of chicken with his fork – I noticed Remus casually wipe sauce from his fringe. Sirius regained Potter's attention by ruffling his hair and taking his goblet of Pumpkin Juice. I fiddled with my rolled up essay, motioning for Mary to continue with her story. Don't be too eager and let them chase you were two rules from my man manual that came to find as I feigned great interest in Mary's story. My heart was beating excitedly, I was becoming fidgety and distracted. Self-control was not one of my strong points.

"Oh, will you just go get it over and done with?" Dorcas sighed at me, breaking apart a bread roll rather viciously. Patience was not one of Dorcas' strong points. She was an advocate for doing what you wanted, when you wanted and think about the consequences later. I had often thought this would get her in trouble, in school or after. I was surprised her detention record was a tame as it was. She, like our colleagues, was becoming particularly interested in the war, in particular becoming an Auror. At least she had some idea – I was putting of the thought of what I wanted to do far out of my mind.

However, what I wanted to do at the present moment was to show my essay to Mr. Sirius Black – and try to figure out what was going on. I checked my reflection quickly in my goblet, flashed a grin at the girls, grabbed my essay and made my move up the Gyffindor table.

Pettigrew noticed me first and elbowed Black, who if I had noticed correctly, flashed a grin at Potter and Remus. Remus smiled at me kindly and Potter looked like he had just swallowed something particularly sour.

Sirius got up and lowered into a mock bow, grinning as he straitened up.

"Miss Evans," he said, "How nice to see you up this end of the table. You've made it considerably better."

I smiled back at him, the essay behind my back. Looking up at him from under my lashes I said, "Oh, I just have a little something to show you."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, his smile slight as he said, "Oh?"

"99 percent," I said, holding out the essay for him to see Binns' scratchy numbers.

"I wonder where we lost that one percent," Sirius said, scratching his chin in mock-thought. I had decided (egged on by the look that had made itself comfortable on Potter's face) to be bold and use my Gryffindor courage to see if I could "research" Sirius further.

"Perhaps we should meet up in the Common Room later to discuss it?" I said, fixing him with a look from under my lashes again. Softly I said, "I just won't rest until I've figured it out…"

"Well, I have a Prefects Meeting to run," Potter said loudly, noisily getting up from the table, letting his cutlery clatter onto his place. "If any Prefects wish to keep their badges they should probably make a move."

I knew it was aimed at me, and I fixed Potter with a slight scowl – like he could talk about punctuality. Sirius handed me back my essay and fixed me with a look of his own.

"Perhaps." He had said, moving to take a seat back at the table. I noticed him throw me a wink over his shoulder – which seemed to infuriate Potter, who made a strangled sort of noise and strode off. I sauntered back to the girls where I dissolved into giggles and anitmated talk to a stunned Dorcas and Mary.

I was late to the meeting. It was only five minutes, and I had _never _been late under the last Head Boy and Girl. In fact, I was never late. Ever. Potter had made a point of stopping mid sentence until I had taken a seat and taken out my Portfolio before resuming. Regulus Black even fixed me a look. I had managed to catch up with Potter's speech (keeping an ear out for gossip about the War and putting an end to anything we hear), and then managed to let my mind wander. I was utterly confused and excited about whatever was happening with Sirius and I. While we all knew each other in Gryffindor and where all somewhat friendly, like I had mentioned before, The Marauders were a tight bunch. The girls in the Seventh Year had so far seemed to satisfy him – so why did I suddenly exist in the equation? I managed to get my mind back on track – after all, I wanted to be Head Girl next year, and spend the next thirty minutes without Sirius on my mind. The meeting ended and the other prefects left, chatting amongst themselves (I heard a few whispers about the War rumors). I was hurrying to get back to the Common Room, shoving things into my bag. Potter was shuffling papers, looking troubled.

As I passed him he said, "Evans – wait."

I stopped, rooted to the spot. What did Potter want? He had already made his point that he wasn't happy about me being late, I had muttered enough apologies. I turned and fixed him with a look that said, "What?"

He took a step toward me, looking suddenly uncomfortable.

"I don't know what you're doing, but Sirius has a girlfriend." He finally said, sounding strained. I tried to cover my surprise – I didn't.

"Oh really? And did you chose her for him?" I shot back. Not my best, I admit, but I was slightly put out. "I'm not doing anything. Let me remind you it was Sirius who offered to help _me_."

"Not doing anything my arse," Potter muttered, rolling his eyes. "And believe me Evans, he was perfectly happy before your existence in his life."

I had to laugh, "Don't you mean _you _were happy?"

I readjusted my bag on my shoulder as I watched him fidget. What was going on!

"Potter – Sirius has a mouth of his own. While I know you two are _so _close, I'm sure he can think and act for himself. If he's not happy, he can tell me himself."

Potter opened his mouth to retort but I stormed out, letting my temper get the better of me. Who was Potter to interfere with matters that did not concern him in the slightest? And who was Black to change everything, messing up my routines, how I did things…conversing with Black meant more interaction with Potter that I could handle. I sighed, making my way out of the room and noticing a Ravenclaw Seventh Year waiting outside – obviously for Potter. I rolled my eyes and hurried back, excited to get back to the Common Room and –

I stopped suddenly, frowning at myself. One of my number one rules, before this year, was to let boys chase me, not the other way round. The prey was indeed playing games with the hunter, and it had to stop. If I stopped looking for Black, perhaps Potter would stop looking for ways to infuriate me.

I regained my stride back to the Common Room, new thought in mind.

Catch me if you can, Sirius.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Finally! I am so sorry for the delay in this chapter – it has been a hectic couple of months for me. I enjoyed writing this chapter and am excited to get it out to you, so I won't take much of you're time.**

**Thank you for the encouraging reviews – they mean a lot to me. Please, please, please keep them coming! I would love to know your thoughts.**

**It may seem like this is shaping up to be a Sirius/Lily – but for only about five minutes, I promise. While I am trying to make it slightly AU, I really wanted to keep the animosity between Lily and James, and have their relationship grow.**

**I hope I have rewarded your curiosity and the time you have taken to read this chapter was worth it.**

**All my love,**

**Sang de Cerise**

**x**

**Disclaimer: J K Rowling - all of it, all of it, all of it!**

**Chapter's title and lyrics from is You Me At Six. **


	3. Declaration of War

**Authors' Note: (Half asleep I deleted this instead of just editing some things I wanted too - Sorry if you got the alert again!)**

**I never really know what to say in these things! But thank you for all who have reviewed so far, thanks for all the favourites and alerts - they honestly make my day. I am begging, absolutely begging, that you please take the time to review and really tell me what you think! To quote another author on this site - It is impossible to write on this site without the reviews.**

**I apologize for the delay! It took me a while to figure out where I wanted to go with it, I wanted to slow down while speed up... that probably doesn't make sense... But I have had an extremely Harry Potter two weeks - I saw Deathly Hallows P2 THREE times, and I just got a Harry Potter tattoo of Sirius on my thigh... So I was itching to start writing again!**

**I borrowed a scene (the end scene) in this, from another one of my fanfics (Persuasion for those who have read it), because that fic is on hiatus and I thought it would go well in this, and I had such fun writing it.**

**I have no Beta - so please excuse any small mistakes that you may find. Being an English Teacher I would like to think that I was diligent enough to get them, be alas, we are all human. **

**So - enjoy! And once again, PLEASE REVIEW! :D**

**Much love,**

**SDC**

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><p>Chapter Three<p>

_Delcaration of War _

_"If you want war then you've got war..."_

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><p>I had returned to the Common Room in a bit of a mood. The year had only just started and already changes were being thrown at me from left, right and centre. I had never paid Sirius Black any attention and suddenly it was all I wanted, I was never late and suddenly Prefect meetings took second place to Sirius Black and his attentions, and said Prefect meetings had gone from "be on the look out for students out past curfew" to "be on the look out for budding Death Eaters".<p>

I had noticed Sirius sitting on top of an arm chair, telling some story to Remus and Pettigrew with exaggerated actions, which was also gaining him an audience of fifth year girls. He stopped mid-sentence as he saw me enter the Common Room and smiled. It took all my will-power not to throw one back at him, and saunter over to where Dorcas and Mary sat at a table with a little sway in my hips. Remembering my earlier vow I arched and eyebrow and casually made my way over to the girls. With some satisfaction I noticed his smile falter slightly, however, it didn't take him long to start entertaining his little audience again.

I sighed huffily as I sat down next to Mary.

"Potter?" Dorcas asked, not looking up from scribbling furiously at her Charms essay. Mary sighed (although hers was dreamy) and put down her text book.

"What's he done now?" She asked, smiling.

"Nothing new, " I muttered, fiddling with a discarded quill on the table. I didn't really want to discuss my conversation with Potter – Dorcas would roll her eyes and Mary would wish that I just gave him a chance. It really was not anything new.

"So, let me guess – infuriated you?" Dorcas said, faking deep thought.

"No, no – got under your skin?" Mary said, nudging me with her elbow.

"Wish you'd never been placed in Gryffindor?"

"Ah! Wish you'd never been made a prefect?"

"What was that one from last year – oh yes, wish he just did not exist?"

Dorcas and Mary dissolved into giggles and I had to smile, even though I was rolling my eyes.

"And then some," I said, looking casually over my shoulder to Sirius who was no longer sitting atop the arm chair, but talking animatedly to a seventh year girl who I recognised from our Quidditch team. Mary had followed my gaze.

She nudged me with her elbow again, "I don't see how you can give Black a chance and not James – they are pretty much the same person."

I arched an eyebrow and turned around the find Dorcas with her own eyebrow arched, as if to ask me, 'Well?'

"I know," I said, admitting some defeat and busying myself with a thread that was coming undone on my jumper sleeve to hide from Dorcas' smug grin. "But there is just something about Potter that-"

A red and gold portfolio was suddenly dropped under my nose and onto the table. I instantly recognised it as my Prefect portfolio, containing my rosters etc. I felt a pang of nervousness when I started thinking about why it wasn't in my bag where it should have been.

"You left it in the Meeting Room," I heard Potter's voice say, as if answering my thoughts. I looked up at him, face devoid of any emotions, while I felt Mary stiffen in her seat, as she glanced at him. "And there's something about me that what?"

He was smirking. I felt myself frown as his smirk widened.

"That I simply can't stand, Potter."

He tipped an imaginary hat at me and started making his way over to his friends. He smirked, "Glad to know some things never change."

I glared at my Portfolio, as if it was its fault I had spoken to Potter twice in one day. I noticed Mary's eyes following Potter as he joined Sirius and their fellow classmate. I had to roll my eyes- I suspected that her soft spot for Potter was developing into something more.

"If I didn't know better, Miss MacDonald, I would suspect _you _are the one who wants to give Potter a chance," I teased, my turn to elbow her in the side. She was jolted out of her current daydream, eyes wide.

"Don't be ridiculous." She said, busying herself with an Arithmancy chart and not meeting our eyes. "What a berk."

Dorcas and I shared a look and I sat back into my chair as she resumed her Charms essay. I sighed and resigned myself to the fact that I also had to start my Arithmancy homework when I noticed a note sticking out of my Portfolio. I didn't recognise the scratchy handwriting at first, but I had a feeling I knew who had written it as I felt my cheeks burn.

_I can tell you where you lost that one percent, Evans – Sirius likes to start things but then is terrible at concluding them…_

I hadn't realised I was gripping my Portfolio until I heard the binding snap. Dorcas shot me a questioning look but I ignored it as I stared back at the note. Was Potter alluding to Sirius' girlfriend and how I should leave him alone?

"Does Sirius have a girlfriend?" I asked no-one in particular. Mary looked up, looking thoughtful. Mary often made it her business to know the relationships that went on in our House and year. I also guessed that she was grateful for the distraction from a particularly hard Arithmancy question.

"I don't think so," She said, looking casually over her shoulder. "I mean, the way he's been acting towards you and the show tonight…"

"I'd say he's looking for one," Dorcas shrugged, looking up at me slyly from her textbook. It was my turn to look over at the sofas the Marauders occupied. Sirius was still talking to the girl on the Quidditch team, and Potter had settled himself into an armchair with what looked like his Head Boy stuff on his lap. Remus and Pettigrew had invested their attentions to a game of Chess. Potter looked up and caught me glaring in his direction. He smiled smugly, obviously guessing I had found his note. He looked pointedly at Sirius and the girl and then, still smiling smugly, returned to his notes.

I was furious. I had always made sure I never talked, looked, thought or spoke about Potter more than was necessary. Today my day almost revolved around him and his cryptic messages and haughty attitude. If wanting Sirius' attentions meant dealing with Potters as well, I was starting to think that I would return to ignoring the lot of them.

Although, while staring at Potters stupid note, I thought I may have seen some sort of challenge in it. I was not going to let Potter get one on me – Sirius may have started all this, but I was going to finish it.

* * *

><p>The week had flown by, with the workload and homework enough to keep my mind off Sirius and Potter. There was one thing that I was determined to not change, and that was the effort I put into my classes and homework. Potter had left me well enough alone, keeping our interactions strictly business. The strangest of these interactions was when he approached me last night in the Common Room to tell me that he'd swapped Regulus Black for Paris Caden from Ravenclaw as my patrol partner for tonight. I had patrolled with Regulus before, we often just split up with a fleeting conversation at the start and finish. He was often at Professor Slughorns' "Slug Club" parties. I couldn't argue with Potter and to admit I was quite confused by it all. I simply nodded at him and returned to my work, catching Sirius' smug look as Potter returned to him. Potter had himself looked quite serious – no smirks, no cryptic messages.<p>

I sighed, and pushed my Arithmancy chart away from me as if it were offending me somehow. Yawning and stretching I glanced around the Library, which was quiet on a Friday evening. I was killing time before my patrol, and Potter had turned the Common Room into some sort of grounds for an Exploding Snap tournament. I glanced at my watch, noting I had a good half an hour before my patrol started, and I was not prepared to go back to Common Room and have to endure King Potter ruling his court.

Reluctantly I pulled my chart back towards me, trying to get back into the frame of mind to complete it. That was apparently not in the offing, as someone's shadow fell over me. I smiled, looking up to expect Mary or Dorcas. I felt my smile freeze as I noticed Sirius Black smiling down at me.

"Can I join you?" He asked, not waiting for an answer as he pushed textbooks out the way and sat across from me. I arched an eyebrow at him.

"Careful, Black, I'm sure Potter will be along shortly to remove you from my company," I said, pretending to check something from my textbook. I looked back at him to find him sitting back in his seat and smirking. "So, I've been meaning to ask – were you responsible for removing Regulus as my partner?"

"Why, Evans – do you have a thing for the Black brothers?" He said slowly, arching his own eyebrow.

"I wouldn't know, Black – Potter doesn't give me enough time to have a thing for either one of you." I said, also sitting back in my seat. "And no, for the record. Well, at least not for Regulus."

I smirked as I noticed his other eyebrow join the other as it disappeared into his hair. I grabbed my textbook on pretence of returning it to the shelf. He scrambled up after me like a lost dog and I had to giggle to myself. Evans 1, Potter nil.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled so I was suddenly facing him. "What's that meant to mean, Evans?"

The man manual in my head was flipping through many of my tricks. I settled on less is more, straightening his tie. "Whatever you want it to, Black."

I slinked out of his grip and resumed returning my book. He joined me at the shelf, leaning against it and watched me as I pretended to look for another book. The Quaffle was slowly returning to my court, I noticed. Sirius Black was following me around the library I noted with satisfaction, not the other way round.

"I actually came here to invite you to a little party, Evans." He said, stepping in front of me and forcing me to stop looking for a book. I decided to drag this out for as long as I could, somewhat hoping Potter was lurking around to see that it wasn't just me participating in this little game.

"Not Slughorn's is it? I usually end up with Regulus at those things – I wouldn't know what to tell him, no more patrols with him, showing up with his brother…"

Sirius made a face, "Don't joke about that."

I faltered slightly. I did converse slightly with Regulus at those parties with Slughorns' encouragement, and we were in the same year, same potions class etc. I knew it was a cheap shot bringing him up with Sirius when one could hardly call them brothers.

"It's actually just a little gathering by the lake," He said, busying himself by rolling up his sleeves. "We thought we'd celebrate this weather before it leaves us."

"We?" Potter.

"The lads and I," Sirius said. Which meant Potter.

"Is it a seventh year thing?" I said, looking at him, trying to get out of him Potter's involvment.

"Not particularly – a Gryffindor thing, you could say."

I pretended to think it over. Hogsmeade weekends hadn't started yet, I was relatively up to date with my homework, and I was having too much fun with Sirius…

"Do I need to bring anything?" I asked, sidestepping him and walking back to my table. My patrol was due to start in about ten minutes, and Sirius was not going to make me late for my Prefect duties again.

"Yourself, MacDonald, Meadows if you like." He shrugged, following me.

"Sounds good," I said, nonchalantly, appearing as if it was something I didn't really care about. My insides were flip-flopping. I knew Dorcas would kill me for dragging her into an opportunity just for me to flirt more with Sirius. But really, what else did we have to do?

"Oh and Evans, there's a dress code." Sirius said, leaning closer towards me across the table.

"Oh?" I said, fighting the urge to smile. He leant close to whisper in my ear.

"Swimsuits."

I blinked as he left me in the library, a smug smirk on his handsome face. My insides were definitely flip-flopping. With a groan I suddenly realised it was Black 1, Evans nil.

* * *

><p>Dorcas had actually been more willing to the idea than I had originally thought. I guess like me she had conceded that there was really nothing better we could have been doing, and it would be shame to waste what was left of the warmer weather. Mary had started fretting about what bathers she would possibly wear in front of Potter, confirming my suspicions of a little crush.<p>

"I think Black was just playing with me, Mary." I said, staring down in to my own underwear draw, fishing around for a bikini I knew I had in there somewhere. "I'm sure you could just wear shorts and a t-shirt."

"With you wearing that?" she said indignantly, gesturing to my green bikini in my hands. Bits of black were flung at Mary from Dorcas' side of the room. I smiled as Mary picked the bikini off her.

"You can wear that," Dorcas said, sitting on the end of her bed. "_I_ am wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Trust Potter and Black to make girls like you worry about what they have to wear to the _lake." _She snorted.

I blinked at her, feigning offense. "Girls like us?"

Dorcas grinned at me and I grinned back as we watched Mary hold the bikini up against herself.

At around one in the afternoon we made our way down to the lake, where I could already hear shrieking and splashing, and a suspicious clinking coming from one area in particular. I had thrown shorts over my bikini, enjoying the hot sun on my shoulders as we walked closer to where I noticed some fifth, sixth and seventh year Gryffindor, as well as some members of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. It seemed the 'little party' was turning into anything but.

Mary was fiddling with the hem of the summer dress she had on top of her bikini and I followed her gaze. Potter, Sirius, Pettigrew and Remus were guarding what looked like a table of drinks, each sipping on their own and laughing at something Remus was explaining. I arched my eyebrow – this was the suspicious clinking. The Prefect in me and the old Lily was tempted to berate Potter for allowing alcohol, however, another side of me swatted it away and I sauntered over to where they were.

I stopped in front of them, hands on hips. Pettigrew choked, Remus stopped mid-sentence, Potter spat out some beer and Sirius was grinning from ear to ear. Confused, I surveyed them from behind my sunglasses (A favourite purchase of mine from a Muggle market, big enough for me to hide my eyes and, indeed, survey boys). I had noticed a lot of the girls still in Muggle summer dresses – I assumed it was the bikini and shorts that had causes their reactions.

"This party is anything but little, Black," I said, cocking my head at him, hands still on hips.

"As are some other things, Evans," He smirked back. I hoped my blush would be confused for the heat. I was thrown of guard, my planed pretend lecture leaving my mind. I knew what he was talking about, Remus was also blushing, busying himself with the label on his bottle, Peter was staring at Sirius and Potter was staring at me. I lifted up my sunglasses, let my eyes rake Sirius' body and reached behind him to grab three beers.

"Touché, Black," I said, saluting my beer bottle at them and walking over to where Dorcas and Mary had seated themselves on the grass. Handing them their beers I took a seat, shaking slightly from … I didn't know what. Nerves, adrenaline, excitement?

I giggled out loud remembering my exchange with Sirius and Dorcas looked at me questionably.

"I don't think I want to know," She said, slightly smiling as she followed my gaze over to the Marauders. I nodded in agreement, trying to stop my giggles with beer.

"You really don't."

I told her anyway, Mary giggled with me and Dorcas shoved me playfully, grinning. It resulted in us looking over many of the boys there, rating them as we pleased. We spent a good couple of hours, taking turns to go get more drinks, sipping on them and chatting, stretching out in the sun like cats. I was growing restless, I had really come here for one main reason. I guess I was still fustered from our earlier exchange, but I had avoided Sirius, sending the girls to get beers if he was around the table. Sitting up I noticed the beverage table had cleared considerably, and The Marauders were in the water, playing with what I presumed was a nicked Quaffle on Potters' behalf.

Sirius was perched on some rocks by the shore, being what I presumed was some sort of goal keeper. Poor Pettigrew looked terrified of something, Remus looked mildly amused and Potter was well, Potter. Animated over anything that included Quidditch.

"I'll be back," I said to Mary and Dorcas, Mary who was flipping through one of the Muggle magazines my mother sent me once in a while. Dorcas had nodded off on her stomach, still clutching her beer. I made my way over to where Sirius was, his back turned to me, and I joined him, stepping carefully on the rocks, which looked quite jagged.

I watched as Potter was pretending to be pulled under by the Giant Squid near Peter. Now I realised why Peter had looked so terrified before. Some Ravenclaw sixth years were giggling at Potter's antics.

"And presume he is really being pulled under?" I said, looking up at Sirius. He started slightly; obviously just realising I was there. His eyes were lingering and he gained back some composure – and not on my face.

"It'll serve him right," Sirius said grinning. "Look at poor Peter."

I grinned back, glancing back at the water. I waved over to Peter and Remus, who rolled his eyes at Potter's antics. Peter went slightly green.

"That would have pushed him over the edge, Evans. Peter's terrified of two things, The Giant Squid and girls, equally." Sirius said, looking back at me and sipping his beer. "As if your outfit wasn't enough."

"I'm only adhering to the dress code given to me," I said innocently, fiddling with a strap on my bikini. "And what about your outfit? Are you trying to cause accidental drowning?"

Sirius looked down at his bare chest, smirked and shrugged, sipping his beer again. He was about to reply when out of no-where a Quaffle was ditched in our direction. I dropped my own bottle trying to balance myself as I stepped out of the way. I ended up slipping out of the way. Sirius grabbed my elbow to steady me, dropped his own bottle and hurtled the Quaffle back at Potter – who I knew was the culprit to begin with. He was laughing. I joined him shakily – there was a sudden, very sharp pain in my foot. Sirius' laughter stopped as he looked down and noticed what I did – clouds of red billowing up from under my foot.

"Lily?" He said uncertainly, studying my face. I was sure all colour had drained from my face and I gritted my teeth.

"I'm okay," I said shakily, "I think I've just stepped on something sharp."

I pulled my leg up out of the water and Sirius swore as I blanched. A nice piece of jagged rock had pierced the arch of my foot, blood oozing out. Before I knew it I had been scooped up by Sirius, who started to carry me back to the banks.

"Sirius – put me down. I'm heavy and you're going to get covered in blood." I felt a little faint, my voice didn't sound like my own. I wasn't sure how to deal with blood, my own or anyone else's'.

"Nonsense! You're as light as a snitch," He said happily, looking down to make sure he himself didn't end up injured. "And I've been covered in much worse."

I laughed shakily. I was in agony, I wasn't sure how deep the rock was in my foot, but I didn't have a good feeling about it. We had made it back and he set me down gently, taking my foot in his lap and procuring his wand from his back pocket. "It just so happens, Evans, that I am a natural healer."

I raised an eyebrow at him, raising myself onto my elbows to watch what he was doing. "This is going to hurt," I half moaned. That rock was going to have to be pulled out before any healing occurred.

"It is," he agreed. He was leaning closer to me, my leg still in his lap. "But I think I can distract you from it."

Before I knew it, he was pulling the rock out from my foot – I winced and was about to gasp when his lips crashed onto mine.

I was in shock – from the pain, the warm blood trickling down my foot, and the fact that Sirius' lips were on mine and I was kissing him back. He slowly pulled back, smiling to himself as he examined my foot. Too in shock to properly take note of what spell he used, I pulled my foot closer to inspect it. No cut, no blood.

"You need Firewhisky," He said, grinning. I laughed back at him, staring at his lips. Mine were tingling. He left me to go get said Firewhisky, and I got up shakily, still a little unsure about my foot.

When I looked up I noticed Potter watching me from where he stood, ankle deep in the lake. He was throwing the Quaffle nervously from left hand to right continuously. I couldn't place the look on his face – jaw locked, eyes on me. I didn't know what to do, I was still a little shaky, I wasn't in the mood for Potter to berate me about what I was doing with Sirius.

Confused, I watched as he ditched the Quaffle back into the water, marched back onto the grass, grabbed his t-shirt, and left.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: Title and lyrics from Hadouken! J.K. Rowling everryythingggggggg else :)<strong>

**Review, review, review!**


	4. Underdog

**Author's Note:**

_I cannot thank you enough for the wonderful, kind, encouraging reviews that chapter three got. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE keep them coming._

_I really enjoyed writing this chapter and hope you enjoy reading it. I apologize the the slight angsty James (he's not that bad), but I wrote this after watching Jane Eyre... *happy sigh*._

_Some war things and Sirius' situation aren't exactly fine tuned to the books but I did mention this was AU-ish!_

_Once again, please take the time to tell me what you think! :)_

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling for everything you recognize. You Me at Six for title and lyrics**.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four - Underdog<strong>

_"Revenge loves company, three makes it a crowd..."_

* * *

><p>I watched Potter's retreating form as he marched back to the castle. I watched as Remus and Pettigrew were coming out of the water, Remus shaking his head. I had seen Sirius try and stop Potter leaving, while carrying cups of the promised Firewhisky in hand, to no avail.<p>

I was, I had to admit, confused. Potter had never hesitated in the past to tell me how he felt about Sirius and I, and I couldn't even place the look he gave me after the kiss.

The kiss.

I smiled to myself, touching my lips. Sirius did indeed distract me from the pain in my foot; it had, as cheesy as it sounds, taken my breath away. I lost all coherent thoughts.

For some reason, though, I couldn't shake the look on Potter's face from my mind. When I thought of the kiss I immediately saw his face.

I saw Sirius coming back towards me and I tried shaking off the thoughts of Potter and the shaking in my legs (from the kiss? From adrenaline?) and smiled towards him.

"You okay?" He said, looking slightly concerned as he handed me my cup. I raised an eyebrow at the cup – he had given me a very generous serving.

"Yeah," I said, nodding. "I'm not too good with blood – I'm a little shaky."

He grinned, "Well, drink up. Get some colour back into you."

"Is Potter alright?" I said, swallowing hard and grimacing after my sip of Firewhisky. It's not that I cared, I was just interested. Sirius looked back towards the castle and shrugged.

"He'll live," He said, sipping his own Firewhisky. "I actually don't know what that was about."

A few moments passed by in silence. I think we both knew why Potter was upset – he had caught his best friend kissing a girl he really didn't like. I took a few more sips of Firewhisky just to give me something to do. Sirius was rocking on the balls of his feet, surveying the swimmers in the lake. We kept looking sideways at each other, smiling slightly and not exactly knowing which way to go, what to say, where to look.

"So-" I began, picking a thread on my denim shorts. I didn't get to finish however – Sirius had suddenly grabbed my wrist, and pulled me toward him so that we were suddenly chest to chest.

"Does your foot still hurt?" He said quite huskily, looking closely at me. I could smell the Firewhisky on his breath, the suspicious smell of sunscreen and beer. This day had been so strange, things were moving so fast, everything was different, new.

"Oh, so much," I replied, even huskier, looking up at him. "I may need distracting again."

He flashed a wicked grin and did what I had been hoping he would do again. Lowering his head to mine he caught my lips in his. One hand was tangled in my long hair, the other managing to clutch his cup of Firewhisky and my hip. Our kisses were deepening, becoming much more needy, urgent.

The events of the day, the disaster of my foot and James Potter's face were suddenly far from my mind.

"You did _what?" _Mary shrieked as I told her that evening in the dormitory. She was quite sunburnt, her hair wind swept and eyes wild. We had all come back up to the dormitory at about five in the evening, after the alcohol had all gone, the lake had lost all it's excitement and McGonagall had come down to suggest perhaps enough was enough. Potter had not come back.

I grinned at her as I collected some clean clothes, preparing to go shower. I felt sticky from sweat and the sunscreen I had had the sense to put on earlier, as well as the Firewhisky I had accidently spilt on myself as Sirius and I kissed. I even felt I still had blood on me, all though Sirius had made sure that it was all gone when he had healed my cut.

Sirius and I had spent more of the afternoon together; Remus and Peter had gone back up to the castle to check on Potter, and Dorcas and Mary had left soon after, Mary's sunburn becoming painful. My head had been fuzzy from the sun and the whisky and the fact that I was sitting there with Sirius Black, with no Potter around to remove or ruin the situation.

"We only kissed," I said, gathering my clothes and making my way to our bathroom. I shared a look with Dorcas, who was also looking sun-kissed and tired. Mary was working herself up over what I thought was nothing.

"You _only _kissed Sirius Black," She spluttered, attempting to follow me. I shut the bathroom door on her, smiling widely at the look on her face.

I leant against the door and looked at myself in the mirror. I had a slight pink tinge across my cheekbones, and my shoulders had gotten slightly burnt, but nothing compared to Mary. My hair was bordering on wild, curling at the ends and heavy and sticky with lake water. If my own mother had looked at me then she would have been able to tell exactly what I had been up too – my green eyes were darker than usual, slightly hazy from the generous amount of alcohol I had been given. My lips were slightly swollen and I smiled as I touched them.

I could still smell him – a mixture of beer and the whisky and something slightly musky, the lake water, the leather of the Quaffle.

Him. Sirius.

As I got in the shower I contemplated what I was doing and who I was doing it with. Where were things going to go, where did I want them to go? And Potter? That look he gave me was hard to place and making me slightly frustrated by it. I was almost waiting for the lecture I would be getting from him any day now.

I dressed and left the bathroom to find Dorcas and Mary were not in my dormitory. I was slightly thankful, I didn't want to repeat my day, detail by detail to Mary. Picking up my hair brush to start sorting out the long, red mess, I paused hearing shouting coming from the Common Room.

I padded over to the door and swung it open, thinking I'd need to put my Prefect hat on and stop whatever was going on. McGonagall was already unpleased with us for the frivolity in the afternoon, and a fight in the Common Room would not rate highly with her.

I stormed out and smacked strait into the back of Dorcas.

"There you are!" She said, grabbing me and pushing me in front. They were hiding on the stairs, just where you could see the Common Room but no one in the Common Room could see you. Mary had her hand over her mouth, eyes wide. "I was just about to get you. You can't miss this."

"What-" I said, looking away from Mary and trying to see what was going on in the Common Room, when I heard my name.

"… Have you even thought about the consequences?"

"_What? _What are you talking about?"

It was Sirius. And Potter. I stepped one more step down, Mary went to grab me but I shrugged her off. If they were arguing about me, I didn't care if they saw me. I wanted to know what was going on. Potter was almost pacing in front of the fire, in casual pants and a knitted jumper when a Quaffle on the front, his Head Boy badge pinned on lopsidedly. Sirius was still in his shorts from the lake, his t-shirt slung over his shoulder. He, like so many other Gryffindors who went down, was burnt. However, I guessed the redness of his face could also be attributed to the fact he was arguing with Potter, and looked angry about it.

"You promised me, Sirius."

I almost slipped another step down. What? Sirius promised Potter what?

"I haven't done anything!" Sirius was sounding exasperated.

Potter laughed a laugh without humour. "You know, I was wondering what was going on when you asked me to remove Regulus as her patrol partner."

Sirius scratched his head, closed his eyes and sighed. "There was more than one reason for that, James."

"What? So that he wouldn't find out and write home to mummy about it?"

Sirius scoffed again, and ran a hand through his hair again. Potter's back was to me, so I couldn't see his face. His body language however, was telling me everything I needed to know. He was tense, and I could tell his arms were crossed across his chest.

"What are you doing with her?"

"It's none of your business." Sirius said, pushing past him. "And nothing."

He left Potter and made his way towards the stairs. I was too fixed to the spot I had crouched in, my head swimming with what was said, to move in time. He froze when he saw me, and my breath caught in my throat. He opened his mouth, head shaking, looking quite fed-up. He was about to speak when we heard footsteps, and looked to see Potter making his way towards us, his head down, obviously not expecting Sirius, or myself, to be on the stairs.

I expected Potter to start shouting again, to scowl at me, to do _something _that was just so him when it came to me. He just stared, a blank look, at the situation. Sighing, he pushed his way past Sirius and made his way up to the boys' dormitory.

"Lily," Sirius said, looking at me wearily. "I'm sorry."

I just nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Today was nothing? The kisses, nothing? The flirting, nothing?

He motioned towards the Common Room. "I can't explain that. I don't know what's going on with him."

I just nodded again, but cleared my throat, starting to move and make my way back to my dormitory.

"Oh, probably _nothing_." I heard Dorcas snap, and I felt her grab my wrist and pull me towards the dormitory. Sirius shot me a pleading sort of look, but I ignored him. I couldn't speak or look at him at the moment, I didn't know what to think or feel or say. How quickly my perfect day had been ruined and _once again _Potter was somehow responsible.

A week went past without me speaking to Sirius. I had gone to bed that night with my mind racing. What the hell had Potter been on about? What had Sirius promised him? What were the consequences of Sirius being with me? What other reasons did Sirius have for asking Regulus removed as my patrol partner. Had the whole day been an utter waste? The touches, the kissing, the flirting?

I didn't know what to think anymore so I had tried to just stop thinking about it. I couldn't let my mind be distracted with Sirius and Potter anymore than it had been before the day by the lake. Thankfully, being a year above me, I saw little of them during the week.

I had yet to have a Prefect meeting, which was scheduled for later that evening. Potter had stopped looking in my direction what so ever. Sirius had sent me several imploring looks at the start of the week but gave up as I pretended he was invisible.

I wanted boys fighting _over _me, not about me. I didn't, however much I thought I wanted Sirius, want to cause a fight between Potter and Sirius who were practically brothers. If Potter really didn't like me then I guess it wasn't fair to have to make Sirius choose, and suffer the pointless arguments like the one that took place in the Common Room.

Transfiguration was the last class that day before dinner and the dreaded Prefects meeting. I wanted to avoid Potter at all costs. I was sick of him, and sick of hearing his voice in my head as he repeated the words he had said that night over and over in my head as I contemplated the fight. _And _he had given me another bloody look to contemplate. A blank, tired, stare.

The hour of Transfiguration went slowly, McGonagall explaining a particularly hard enlargement transfiguration theory for most of it. Several times my mind wandered to the meeting after dinner. How was I going to act? Should I say anything to Potter?

At eight that evening I found myself in the Meeting room (early, this time), fidgeting with my portfolio. The note Potter had slipped in there last week was still in there. I scrunched it up and aimed it at the fire, shooting it and actually getting it in.

"Could have been a Chaser, Evans," I heard Potter say as he walked in towards the table. I arched an eyebrow at him. He was talking to me? Civilly? I stared at him to find him looking less angry than he had in the past week. "I suppose you are another Chaser of sorts, anyway."

I smirked and look back down at my notes. Potter was right, but I wasn't dignifying him with a response.

We waited for all the Prefects to arrive and he and Claudia, our Head Girl, started the meeting.

"We've had an issue with some Propaganda being spread," She said, clutching some papers to her chest. She looked to Potter, "We debated about telling you all this, but we thought we might as well let you know, so you are prepared and you know how to deal with it properly."

She spread them out on the table, Potter was looking angry. "I'm sorry," She said, looking at me and, what I noticed, a few other Muggle-born prefects.

I let my eyes skim over the scrunched up pamphlets, and felt anger swelling in my chest. I glanced at Potter, who was staring at me, almost apologetically. I swallowed, and got up with the others to have a proper look.

_WHY WE NEED TO ACT – Read more to find out why THEY don't belong here _was emblazed across one in flashing purple. 'They' looked like normal Hogwarts students, but had been drawn ugly and distorted and separated from a crowd of noble, strong, arrogant looking students.

I was feeling sick and looked away, making my way over to the fire. I didn't need to look at all of them to know what they were about. The War was rearing its ugly head again in my life. I felt like if I didn't look, listen, participate, I wasn't affected. Someone touched my elbow and I half expected it to be Potter. It wasn't – it was Dominic, my sixth year Gryffindor Prefect partner.

"You okay?" He asked, motioning towards the pamphlets. I nodded as vigorously as I could manage, putting on my "This war doesn't affect me" mask.

"Of course," I said, "Dumbledore decides who has the right to be here, not the arses who wrote those."

He looked at me sceptically. "You sure? I mean, aren't you afraid?"

"Of what?" I said, sounding a little chirpier than I meant to and catching Potter's attention. "Of paper?"

Potter cleared his throat and motioned for everyone to come back in towards the table. Whispers had broken out in the room like little fires.

"These pamphlets are rubbish," He said, motioned towards them. I noticed Regulus Black was lingering away from everyone else. "We won't tolerate them. Destroy any you find and if you find anyone distributing them we need to take them strait to their head of house, or Claudia or myself."

Murmurs of approval could be heard, and I noticed Potter look quite in his element. He looked … passionate. Like those pamphlets really did offend him, despite the fact he was as Pure Blooded as they came. I looked away again and found myself yearning for the day were Dungbombs were the biggest threats around.

The meeting went on. Others shared their stories of the War rumours we were meant to be stopping, anything that had happened that was worth mentioning, any other news worthy notices were addressed.

Finally the meeting was finished and we were dismissed by Claudia and Potter. I lingered, looking one last time at the stupid pamphlets, especially the drawings. Regulus had been one of the first to rush out the door and I just wondered…

I looked up and saw Potter was staring at me. He wandered over.

"I hope you're not offended." He said finally, scrunching the pamphlets back up. I shrugged.

"I'd rather have seen them here first than out there." I grabbed my bag and made to move when he grabbed my arm. I stopped, almost frozen, and looked at him. He looked troubled, like he had when I had first started flirting with Sirius.

"I'm sorry about what you heard the other night," He said, looking at me intently. "I've come to realise it really is none of my business. And if you two are happy…"

I nodded. He certainly didn't look happy.

"Just," he paused and sighed and motioned to where the pamphlets once lay. "Be careful."

"Potter…?"

Be careful of what? What did the pamphlets and Sirius have to do with one another and me?

I stopped midsentence and watched as he pulled a small bouquet of lilies out of his bag. I watched him enlarge the bouquet to its original size, noticing he used the enlargement spell like a natural.

"These are from Sirius," He said, looking a little embarrassed and I wondered why. I took them from him and smiled, smelling them. They were perfect. They were lovely in the face of what I had just seen, and what I had been feeling. "He's sorry, even though it was mostly my fault."

"Thanks," I said, and he nodded. I left the Meeting Room, transfixed with my beautiful bouquet. I had only gotten a few metres when I bumped into someone.

"I was coming to look for you."

I looked up to see Sirius smiling down at me. He glanced down at the bouquet and stared. He looked almost surprised and I wondered if Potter had done something to them?

"I was just about to come find you…" I said, "Thank you, they're beautiful."

"For what?" He asked, confused, touching one of the lilies.

"The flowers," I said slowly, motioned to the lilies, "Potter gave them to me just then, he said they were from you?"

He arched an eyebrow and I was starting to get confused. I expected Sirius to be proud of himself for them. "You're welcome." He said finally.

I smelt them again and clutched them tightly, beaming a little. A portrait opened and closed and out clambered Potter from the second exit of the meeting room. He looked a bit down, and even when he looked up to find Sirius he didn't crack a smile. He was staring at the lilies, and the way I was clutching them, and half-smiled. He saluted us, and made his way on.

Sirius had begun his apologies about what he had said, and I smelled my lilies again, to let him know that I had forgiven him. I mean, the lilies had been enough.

When I looked up, I could hear Sirius still talking, but all I could see was the way Potter turned to look back at us, and was smiling as I smelled the lilies, almost sadly.

* * *

><p><strong>So... at least ten reviews before the next chapter ;) (Jokes, but please, a review from you would be nice.)<strong>


	5. Coffee's for Closers

**Author's Note:**

_I was only joking when I said I wanted ten reviews before the next chapter, but I have to say a BIG THANK YOU to those of you have reviewed and did give me ten and more! Please, please, pleaaaseee keep this up - I really like to know your ideas on the chapter, your thoughts on character and plot - and while Favourites and Alerts are great, only reviews can communicate this. So I'm going to be wild and suggest 15 reviews before the next chapter ;)_

_I think this chapter is by far the longest - I really wanted to start fleshing out the characters to suit my purposes and also for the plot. Not much of James in this one I feel, but we will be seeing much more of him soon ;) I'm also not sure if this Chapter gives away Sirius' "interest" in Lily, but I'll wait and see what you guys think ... this is a JP/LE, so please don't be dismayed by the S/L action. Believe me, it is very difficult to write!_

_I would like to reiterate again that I have suggested **this as an AU**... I understand many of you may think, "obviously Sirius knows James likes Lily?" but... No - he doesn't! In my universe, Lily is younger than James, which means none of what happened in the books has happened between them. As you have probably noticed there is no Snape (yet - his time is coming). James simply, actually, maybe unbelievably was actually a little irritated by Lily, and did dislike her. As I mentioned in Chapter One, she liked to remind him what a rule was and was a little of a tattle-tale - now she's changed (in more ways than one!) , and he's noticed that, and hiding it well. Sirius just simply thinks that James is still irritated by her - he has given Sirius no other reasons to think differently. I hope this clears things up a little. Sirius is my favourite character (I have him tattooed on me!) so I am not intentionally trying to make him go behind his friends back and have what he wants, I like to think I really understand and appreciate their friendship...Anyway, the Chapter explains in more detail so I will shut up and let you get on with it!_

_xxxx_

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling. Fall Out Boy for title and lyrics.

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><p><strong>Chapter Five - Coffee's for Closers<strong>

_"I want everything to change and stay the same..."_

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><p>I had returned to the dormitory that night, with my bunch of lilies and Sirius well and truly forgiven. I was a hopeless romantic – you can call me stupid for falling hook, line and sinker for the old trick in the book, but I loved the notion of flowers. Especially beautiful flowers. And especially flowers from Sirius Black.<p>

When I had explained the story to Dorcas and Mary, Dorcas' eyebrows knotted together in thought. Mary looked like she desperately wanted a bunch of flowers.

"So, let me just get this right," Dorcas said. She was tucked in bed with her Defense Against Dark Arts book – something I'd never understand about her. She read it everynight before we went to bed, perhaps incase she needed to defend herself in her dreams? I never questioned it, and neither did Mary. "Potter gave you the flowers, and said they were from Sirius?"

"Correct," I nodded, placing the lilies carefully in the water jug on my bedside table.

"And then Sirius came down only moments later?"

"Yes," I said, slowly, turning around to face her. Mary was shooting Dorcas a look from the bathroom where she was brushing her teeth.

"Doesn't that seem odd? I mean, he could have just given them to you then."

Mary made a racket splashing around and rinsing and came out exclaiming, "It doesn't matter _how _he did it, he did it. And they're beautiful."

But Dorcas had given me food for thought. I was an intelligent enough girl – I just sometimes slipped into my own little world and didn't pick up on things that were right in front of me. Especially when boys were involved. Dorcas was right, why would Sirius have given Potter the flowers to give to me when he saw me only moments after I had gotten them from Potter. Potter looked thoroughly embarrassed about giving them to me, and Sirius looked utterly confused when he'd seen them. I could feel the blood rush to my face, my fists clench. Mary sighed, audibly, and shot Dorcas another look before getting in to her own bed. Dorcas was staring at me, eyebrows raised and arms crossed.

"Well…?" She said, and I could see a slight smirk pulling at the corners of her lips.

"Argh!" I grabbed the lilies and chucked them into the empty fireplace, seething.

What the hell was Potter playing at?

* * *

><p>I had been good at Potions since I started at Hogwarts – it just came naturally to me. I liked knowing that a wrong amount of anything could cause disaster, but the right amount could cause great success. I liked the methodical process of weighing things out, measuring them, chopping them neatly, crushing them precisely. It was all an innocent interest when I began, yet I began relating my work with Potions to my work with boys. How would they react if I leant in just a little too closely when sharing a text book? If I brushed a bicep in Charms commenting on how that particular wand movement made their arms look good. Add a dash of twirling my red locks around my finger, a sprinkle of fluttering eyelashes ever so often, and of course, measuring them up, chopping them neatly, if required, and then consequently crushing them precisely.<p>

Professor Slughorn, I feel, confused my new found enthusiasm for Potions with an actual interest in Potion making sometime last year. I was to blame – I concentrated hard in class, almost never messed up a Potion and did very well on my assignments. However, poor Slughorn didn't realize I was also excellent at Charms – in particular, in charming who I wanted.

The consequence of this was guaranteed invites to Slughorns' "Slug Club" parties. They were interesting, sometimes they were just something to do. Most of the time they were like the equivalent to pulling teeth. Fortunately for me, Dorcas had been invited to participate when Slughorn had opened his classroom door one day to find Dorcas had lost her temper (over, what I think was a Slytherin insulting Mary and my backgrounds), and was pointing her wand menacingly, shouting exactly what she would do to them and she didn't care what the consequences of her actions would be. He had steered her away from the Slytherins, and thrust an invite into her hands, saying something about the Auror department and promising connections in the Ministry.

This was the reason we both sat at dinner that night clutching our Slug Club party invites. Mary was looking at them with some sort of feigned nonchalance, and with a slight pang of guilt, I tucked mine under my dinner plate. Mary had never been invited formally, although Dorcas and I would always invite her as our guest.

"In two weeks," Dorcas said, (I guess she missed Mary's look), shoving it into her school bag and resuming eating her dinner.

"You're my date," I said to Mary, twirling some spaghetti around my fork and looking up at her. To my surprise she snorted.

"Don't be silly," She said, ripping apart some bread, "I know you'd rather take Sirius."

"She does," Dorcas interjected, mouthful of mood. "That's why you're my date, MacDonald."

I smiled slightly at Dorcas. Since the whole flowers incident I didn't know quite what to think about Sirius. Or Potter. I understood Sirius was sorry – he had told me a thousand times. He even attempted to show me this morning on the way to breakfast by hurling me into an empty broom closet. It still hadn't made me any more sure about the situation. As if Mary could read my thoughts, she touched my arm from across the table.

"I think Potter just knew he was being a git. He doesn't know how to apologise so he just used Sirius as an excuse…" She smiled warmly at me. I nodded and glanced over to where the Marauders sat, Potter was looking considerably more happy than he had done in the past few days. He was talking animatedly, from his questers I guessed it was about Quidditch. Sirius sat next to him, contributing to the story. I frowned, however, as two school owls suddenly dropped a letter each in front of Sirius and Potter, and I could see the glistening green ink from where I sat. Slug Club party invites.I turned back to my dinner, suddenly a little angry – those two had been invited sporadically throughout the years I was in the Club – they somehow managed to cause some sort of mischief and mayhem that it took Slughorn a few months to recover before he invited them back. I had a feeling Potter's new badge had something to do with this invite.

"Just great," I muttered, but Dorcas caught it. She looked at me questionably. "Potter's been invited to the party," I said, motioning towards where they sat. Potter was making a great deal about his invite, faking tears and fanning himself, showing the people around him the invite with some sort of fake pride. Sirius was grinning at his antics, but smiled when he caught us looking. He motioned towards his invite and winked – he knew I was a Slub Club regular.

"Oh I can't wait," Dorcas snickered. "I loved what he did to the punch last time."

* * *

><p>"I think you've been avoiding me…"<p>

I smiled seeing who had dropped in the chair next to me in the Common Room. Sirius was playing with a lock of my hair, looking up at me with what I could only describe as puppy eyes. I continued working on my Charms homework, ignoring him on purpose. He heaved a great sigh, resting his head on shoulder, jostling me a little and causing me to ruin the word I was on. I put my quill down and, smiling, crossed my arms and feigned annoyance.

"Tell me, what can I do?" He pleaded in a voice of mock desperation, "It's been two whole days since I've heard your voice, I'll go mad if I don't hear it soon. Say something, even if it is 'sod off.'"

I looked down at him. He was grinning. I smiled.

"I haven't been avoiding you," I said, brushing some of his hair out of his grey eyes, his head still on my shoulder. "It's just…"

That damn Potter. I didn't know what I was doing anymore, things weren't going the way I had imagined them. He seemed to be invaded my life, my thoughts. I didn't know why they were fighting about me, I don't know why Potter felt the need that he had to give me flowers and lie about them. I didn't know what Sirius wanted with me, a sixth year, who he had aided in frustrating with Potter. I didn't know how to act around him, or Potter. Potter was unpredictable, bi-polar, and I liked stable, predictable boys. I hadn't figured Sirius out quite yet.

"I'm not sure what we're doing," I said, finally, picking up my quill again and fidgeting with it.

"Does it matter?" He said, lifting his head off my shoulder. "Things don't always have to be planned, Evans."

I looked up at him with a look I hope conveyed that Evans did like everything planned. And I liked planning them myself. He grabbed my hand suddenly.

"Come on," He said, pulling me towards the portrait hole. I let out a sound of indignation and made to protest, but he just kept dragging me.

"What are we doing?" I said, trying to keep up with his fast strides.

"Being spontaneous…" He threw a wink over his shoulder.

I followed him without saying a word, wondering silently where we were going, especially past curfew. I couldn't, being a Prefect, be seen wandering around the castle as I pleased… however, I reminded myself I was currently with a Marauder. Suddenly, Sirius stopped and we approached a corner, and almost threw my against a wall, pressing me against it.

"Shit," He muttered, still pressing me against the cold castle wall. I was about to question what the matter was when I saw it for myself. I had remembered as I saw him that it was Regulus' night for patrolling. I watched Sirius' face as it contorted into a frown as he watched his brother check an empty classroom. I had a bad feeling in my stomach that Sirius and I wouldn't be able to walk away undetected from Regulus – he only had to turn around to find us. And he was always a very good patroller – picking up on little details we other Prefects often missed. I had to sigh when Regulus did indeed turn around. The two Black brothers locked eyes, both of them seemed to be determined to glare the other down.

"Why am I not surprised," Regulus muttered, glancing at a gold wristwatch and then looking back up at his brother. I felt Sirius tense, and could almost feel the retort shaking in his body. Before he could say anything to provoke Regulus and unnecessarily loose Gryffindor points, I stepped out of Sirius' shadow and gave Regulus an imploring look, hoping he'd just let things slide. His eyes, almost the same as his brother's, fell onto me and stayed there, his face devoid of any emotions. I didn't expect Regulus to glance back at his brother, an eyebrow arched and a slight smirk tugging at one corner of his lips.

"Just get back to where you should be," He said, avoiding me and talking to his brother, turning on his heel and leaving Sirius and I in the corridor. I was quite confused… Regulus had never been over friendly to me, but he had never been as indifferent as he had just been… and the slight smirk and almost a look of surprise directed at Sirius?

"He's right," I said a little dejected, I was a little intrigued as to where Sirius was taking me. "We need to go back to the tower."

I turned to leave but Sirius grabbed my wrist again. "He's never right," He scoffed, but started leading me away from where he had originally set off. "Feel like a coffee?"

He was grinning down at me and I raised my eyebrows. "I guess but-"

He placed a finger over my lips and winked again, leading the way in another direction. It didn't take me long to know where we were heading, before long we were in the Entrance Hall but Sirius lead me through a door on the right. I followed him down a long corridor until he stopped in front a large portrait of a bowl of fruit. Sirius tickled the pear, which giggled and turned into a door handle and he stepped aside, grinning, gesturing for me to go in first.

It didn't occur to me that this was the kitchen until I saw pots and pans lining the walls, the four House tables lined up as they were in the hall, and the house elves. I had to stop to take it all in, and felt Sirius step in after me. The house-elves, obviously recognizing him, almost flocked around him asked him what he would like. I watched him as he gave his order to one, and starting praising the others for the great Sheppard's Pie we had for dinner only hours earlier. I saw down at one of the preparation tables, taking in the high ceiling of the kitchen and the great, brick fireplace at the other end.

I smiled as Sirius finally came and joined me. I felt a little awkward and bad for interrupting the house-elves, Sirius however, looked like this was a second home.

"Well, I'm impressed," I said, crossing my arms over my chest and fixing him a smile. He grinned back.

"See – spontaneity works."

We stared at each other from across the table for a few moments, both with things on our minds. I had a million questions regarding the strange things that seemed to be happening regarding his best friend and brother. I caught him staring at my lips, and had a feeling I knew what was on his mind…

"Can I ask you a question?" I had decided I needed to know what the fight was over, and why Potter felt that he had to give me flowers to apologise.

"Sure," he said, busying himself by helping the house-elves place a large pot of hot, steaming coffee in front of us, as well as a few cakes. I smiled appreciatively at the elves who were bowing at Sirius and I respectively.

"What was the fight with Potter over?"

Sirius was clutching a teaspoon piled with sugar that paused mid-way to his cup. He finally dumped the sugar in his cup and make a bit of noise stirring it in.

He finally said, "I think you know, Lily."

I had to stop myself making an impatient sound. Boys, I thought. Or course I knew, I wanted to know why and I wanted to hear it from him.

"Yes – but I don't really understand why…" I bought my cup closer to me, and also reached for the sugar bowl. I wanted something to look at other than Sirius. "What consequences was he talking about? What did you promise him?"

He was taking a long sip of coffee (black, I noted), staring at me from over the brim.  
>"It's just James being James," He finally said, setting his cup down and looking over at the selection of cakes. I fixed him with a stare that I hoped would convey that I still had no idea what he was talking about. He sighed, realizing I wasn't letting up and said, "I… I don't know if you know much about my family, Lily. I guess you know as much as the rest of the school does, y'know, all the lovely owls I get from my mother and how brotherly old Reg and I are…"<p>

I nodded, I did only know that much. He looked happy with his selection of cakes and continued, "James and his family have really been there for me… I guess James doesn't want me to make anymore trouble for myself."

He began to eat and I felt my eyebrows knot together. I had a feeling Sirius was being deliberately vague with me. And I guess it was a difficult topic for him to openly discuss with me.

"More trouble?" I asked, taking a cake from the tray he was thrusting under my nose.

"I ran away from home last year," He shrugged, setting the tray down and licking his fingers clean of cream. I had to stare at his nonchalance – that wasn't something so simple.

"Why?" I said, putting my cake down, interested.

"Many reasons," He said. "For starters, I'm a Gryffindor, the rest of my family have been in Slytherin…are in Slytherin. We ah… have different beliefs on a few matters. I was so… constricted. I like making my own rules, Lily, play my own game."

I nodded, picking up my cake again put putting it down once more when more questions popped into my mind.

"I still don't really understand my part in your fight, sorry. What more trouble could _I _possibly cause?"

Sirius smiled a grim smile. "You're not on my mothers' list of pre-approved girls, you see. She wouldn't like it."

I rolled my eyes. "And was Potter right – you got Regulus switched so he wouldn't find out and write home?"

"That and some other reasons," He said. I could see him fidgeting a little, almost faking his air of nonchalance.

"What – removing competition?" I asked slyly, looking up at him from under my lashes.

"I don't personally believe there is any," He replied a little huskily, staring at my lips again.

"Not even Potter's lilies?" I replied, scooping some cream onto my finger and popping it into my mouth, myself faking an air of cool, calm and collected, when really my insides were flip-flopping again – I knew what it meant when Sirius' voice got husky like that. I watched as his eyes darkened as he watched me, and a slight smirk was pulling at his mouth.

He came over to my side of the table. I got up from my chair and sat atop the table, so we were almost the same level. His buried his hand in my long hair, pushed my knees apart with one of his so that we were almost pressed together, and he bent to whisper in my ear, "Not even."

* * *

><p>We had returned to the Common Room at around a little past midnight. We shared another kiss at the stairs of the girls' dormitory. They were urgent and needy kisses and I had a feeling Sirius wanted something a little more. I had to wrangle myself out of his grip, giggling, as he protested, trying to kiss me some more. I eventually freed myself and managed to make my way up the stairs. Surprisingly, when I entered my dormitory, I found Dorcas and Mary still awake.<p>

"There you are!" Mary said, sitting up in bed, looking very excited.

"Thank Merlin," Dorcas said, propping herself up on her elbow. "Where have you been? I've had to listen to this one for _hours_."

"Patrolling," I shrugged, trying to keep my face out of Dorcas' view – I knew my lips were swollen, my hair was a mess and my shirt was untucked.

"Oh please," She snorted, sitting up. "Patrolling Sirius' mouth?"

Mary giggled and I shot them both a look.

"Yes," I smiled satisfactorily, "if you must know."

"Well MacDonald here was news she desperately wants to share with you. I've had to listen to it for about three hours – it's your turn."

"What's the news?" I was gathering my clothes together to prepare to go shower and get ready for bed. I had figured it would only be the latest gossip from one of Gryffindor's love lives…

"Well, I finally have a date to Slughorn's party that isn't you or Dorcas for once!" She said excitedly.

"Oh?" I said excitedly, looking over at Dorcas – who looked very smug about something. I was very happy for Mary, I knew she didn't enjoy tagging along as one of our guests. I looked back at Mary to find her almost ready to burst. "Well? Who is it? Who asked you?"

"James Potter!"

* * *

><p><em>AN: Heh!_

_Once again... six chapters in - if you have made it so far you are obviously liking something. Please let me know why! What are you liking, what are you disliking, what do you want to see more/see less? Only reviews can let communicate this :) I updated so soon after the last chapter because of the great response, so keep it up! _


	6. Ignorance

Authors Note:

THANK YOU! So much for the amazing reviews I am getting for this. It is really wonderful to know that many of you enjoy this story. It is that time once again for me to grovel, and beg you for to take the time to review. Like I have said before, without a review I don't really know what I'm doing well, what I could do better and what you'd like to see, like not to see... I'm an English Teacher guys - I comment on work everyday, I CRAVE it from you. So please, please, please... I didn't quite get my 15 reviews last time... ;)

But in other business ... some (and I mean some) L/J action for you ;)

And to the reviewer who asked - I do siriusly have Sirius tattooed - I got the dog from the back of the Prisoner of Azkaban cover and my tattoo artist created a full moon with clouds behind it and I have 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good' underneath... I'm not doing it justice, one day I'll show you :)

MUCH LOVE.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Nor Paramore's lovely song and lyrics...

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Six - Ignorance<strong>_

_"Ignorance is your new best friend..."_

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><p>I could feel Dorcas' stare on me, watching me intently. I couldn't explain it – I felt something in my stomach coil, a strange feeling akin to –<p>

"Jealous?" Mary sqeauled, clapping her hands.

She was joking, but that feeling in my stomach was bothering me. Dorcas was still watching me, although now she had the decency to look down at her book occasionally.

"Potter asked you to the party?" I repeated, wanting to make sure I'd heard her right. "I'm repulsed at your choice, Mary, but certainly not jealous."

I poked my tongue out at her to diffuse what I was interpreting as a potentially awkward situation.

"Oh shush," She said, settling back into her pillow and sighing dreamily. I re-gathered up my things (I must have dropped them in shock at some point), and made my way over to the bathroom, wanting to be alone. I turned on the taps and while waiting for the temperature to right itself, I let my mind explode with thoughts and questions. What, what and _what? _What was happening? What was Potter thinking? Had he been thinking? Was this some sort of jab at me? While it was only an invite to Slughorns' and not a marriage proposal, Mary would certainly think of this as something serious, and I knew what Potter was like…

At least I thought I did.

I had finished showering; mechanically going through the motions as I thought about the news I had been given. My little date with Sirius was slowly becoming nothing…

Whilst brushing my teeth I heard a soft knock on the door, which opened to reveal Dorcas.

"So… what do you think?" She asked, leaning against the sink and folding her arms across her chest.

I sighed, and rinsed my toothbrush. "I think it's great for Mary, I mean she's been crushing on him for forever… but I just don't know what he's doing…"

"Are you okay?" She asked, watching me pull my hair into a long plait. I shot her a questioning look.

"Of course," I said, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason," She said, a little airily, pushing herself off the sink and padding over to her bed. I watched her retreating form in the mirror as I finished my plait. I sighed heavily, thinking that way too many changes were occurring this year. I wasn't even aware Potter knew Mary existed…

* * *

><p>I had risen the next day tired and unbelievably grumpy. Dorcas and Mary had gone to breakfast without me, and I swore as I noticed why. I had overslept – thanks to Sirius and his impromptu date and <em>Potter<em>. I left my dormitory unhappy, my uniform was a mess, as was my hair, and I hadn't had time to apply my usual make-up routine. I flew down the stairs and raced down the stairs and out of the Portrait Hole. If I was lucky I'd get half-an-hour to eat.

As if my morning hadn't started bad enough, I saw Potter sitting next to Dorcas and Mary, along with his friends sans Sirius. Mary was positively blushing, Dorcas was looking sceptical at something, but also mildly amused. From what I was gathering as I walked over, Potter was miming some sort of explosion, and I realised he was telling the girls what he had done to the punch at the last Slug Club party he was invited too.

"Morning!" Mary said brightly cutting Potter off as I approached, very slowly, and with what I hoped was a frown on my face.

"Morning," I muttered back, ignoring Potter's presence, but making eye contact with Remus and Peter.

"We tried waking you," Dorcas said, passing me the pot of coffee. I noticed her look at my face and hair and swallow whatever she was going to say.

"You tried really hard," I said, pouring myself a cup, sounding a little harsher than I had wanted too. Dorcas frowned at me but Mary cut across her, obviously knowing Dorcas and I well by now –Dorcas liked to argue.

"Honestly, Lily, you were dead to the world, you obviously needed a bit of a lye in." She said, in what I noticed was in a hopeful sort of voice. Potter snorted into his cup of tea.

"That's what you get when you're rendezvousing in the kitchens late at night," He said, elbowing Peter, who laughed at what must have been an inside joke. I put my coffee cup down with a bit of a clatter. I saw Dorcas roll her eyes and Mary shift uncomfortably in her seat with a nervous giggle.

"Yes, Potter, that is what you get," I said, turning my nose up slightly at him. "Which is why I notice you are at breakfast on time and Sirius is not…"

I smirked at him and picked up my coffee cup, taking a sip and smirking wider as I remembered last night. Potter just rolled his eyes and turned to talk to Remus, who was reading the Daily Prophet. I was ready for a fight with him, and I felt as Mary looked, a little dejected that Potter's attention turned from her but reached across the table to touch my wrist,

"You never did tell us the details," She said a little coyly and Dorcas nodded, but I sighed, not really in the mood too relay it all again. It would have given me great satisfaction to let them know while Potter was there how Sirius and I talked about his family, then promptly forgot about talking and put our mouths to other uses. I smiled remembering how it would make Potter squirm to know how excellent his best friend was at kissing, how he'd alarmed the house-elves by pushing the contents of our supper off the table and onto the floor with a clatter to clear more room on the table…

I heard Dorcas snort, "Must have been a good night." She threw a bit of toast across at me and I darted out of my day-dream, laughing and ditching the toast back at her, glad to note our tension had diffused. I began helping myself to some toast before I ran out of time to eat. Potter, Remus and Peter, I noticed were gathering their stuff and bags together, and I looked at my own watch – somehow twenty minutes had gone by. Potter finished his tea and smacked his lips together, letting his cup hit the saucer with a clatter.

"Well ladies, McGonagall will be expecting us nice and early, so we must be off," He said, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He paused however, reaching into his pocket for something, and his wand. "I almost forgot!" He said to Mary.

I watched him pull out a small bouquet of flowers, carnations I noted as I choked on a piece of toast I just swallowed. They were tiny, like the bouquet of lilies I had gotten were, and he enlarged them, like a natural. Mary was as red some of the carnations in the bunch, speechless. Dorcas was looking very amused. I felt as if I had just swallowed carpet. I was just staring at the bunch, that feeling in my stomach coiling tighter…

Before I could stop myself, I word vomited, "That trick's getting a little old now, don't you think, Potter?"

Mary looked up at me, a little hurt, while Dorcas kicked me under the table. I sat there pretending my toast was more beautiful than the flowers Mary'd just been given. Potter just smirked at me, and raised an eyebrow.

"Ah, you'd thought I'd forgotten you, Evans?" He said, reaching into his pocket again. He chucked me a ball of parchment that I actually managed to catch. I looked at it to see the parchment was folded into a flower. It sprang open at my touch, to reveal what I immediately recognised as Prefect Patrol schedules. I felt my face fold into a scowl as I read what was written.

"Caden needs desperate Potions tutoring that night, or something," Potter said, shrugging. "We've just done a strait swap…"

I read that Potter was scheduled with me for the next three weeks, Friday nights. _Potter and Evans _the little squares read, in what was Claudia's writing – meaning this was serious. I looked up at him, scrunched the paper flower up and threw it into my plate. Grabbing my bag, and sending Mary an apologetic look, I left the hall, not knowing what to say.

* * *

><p>My bad day had worsened from that point onwards. I apologised profusely to Mary, who seemed so happy with the flowers she did what I had done to Sirius – forgiven him instantly. Potter was doing good at allowing people to apologise and be forgiven, I thought bitterly. He was bringing out the worst in me, I thought during Charms, and I didn't like it. Now I had to suffer his presence one night a week for three weeks. Hopefully we could just split up like some other Prefects did.<p>

"Don't bet on it," Sirius said to me as I voiced my opinion as we sat by the fire that night. "James goes crazy without anyone to talk to."

"Great," I muttered, sinking further into the couch and allowing Sirius to tuck me further into his side. "I go crazy when he talks to me…"

Sirius let out a laugh and ruffled my hair. "Try not to kill him please… I don't think I'll be able to make out with my best friends' murderer…"

I giggled as he kissed my jaw line softly, noting Potter had come into the Common Room, seen us and then promptly steered clear of us. I pried myself away from Sirius with great difficulty. I wanted to go to bed and just sleep, forget the crazy direction my life had taken, and get some proper rest so I wouldn't be such a grumpy bitch tomorrow – I wouldn't be able to be civil to Potter if I was in a mood.

Sirius protested as I got up and smoothed out my skirt. "It's nine-o-clock!"

I opened my mouth to explain, but someone else got in first.

"Evans need her beauty sleep, Pads – you missed her this morning, she was positively charming…" Potter pulled on my plait as he brushed past me and plopped down next to his best friend. They were wearing almost matching grins.

I made an indignant sound and gestured towards Potter, as if saying to Sirius 'See?' I picked up my bag and said instead, "I'm not promising anything tomorrow night," I looked at Sirius pointedly, hoping he'd catch my drift, "My temper matches my hair."

Sirius winked at me and Potter looked slightly confused, but was sitting there grinning anyway. I waved to Sirius and made my way to the stairs. As I left I heard Potter say, in an exaggerated whisper to Sirius, "Do you have proof she's a real red head?"

I froze on the spot, mortified. Had Potter really just said that? Was he really implying… Sirius let out a bark like laugh, but I heard a whack and spun around to see Sirius whacking him with a text-book. Sirius didn't even look embarrassed! I was horrified. I stormed back to them, tore the text-book out of Sirius' hands and really gave it Potter, who had the audacity to be laughing, shielding his face.

"You will never know," I said finally, chucking the book at him, with what I hoped was force, and stormed up to my dormitory.

* * *

><p>Before I knew it, I was sitting at dinner that Friday night, absolutely dreading my Patrol ahead. I was still mortified from Potter's comment the night before, and had avoided his eyes all dinner. Luckily he had decided to sit down the other end from us tonight, saving me from more humiliation. Why was he even thinking about that!<p>

Dorcas had laughed so loud when I told her in Transfiguration that McGonagall sent her outside for ten minutes. When she returned she was still slightly red and was, I could tell, shaking with silent mirth. At least Mary had the decency to look embarrassed!

"Looking forward to your patrol tonight?" Dorcas said, waggling her eyebrows at me. "Maybe you can put Potter's mind to rest."

"Dorcas!" Mary shrieked, dropping her soup spoon.

"If I didn't know better, Meadows," I growled, brandishing my knife at her, "I'd think you were on his side."

"Oh come on," She said, holding her arms up in defence, giggling. "You asked for it, Lily."

I rolled my eyes at her and continued eating. I looked at Mary, "I'm not showing Potter anything."

Dorcas giggled again, and I sent her a look. I was glad she was finding herself so amusing.

"That's a shame," said a voice behind me, and I flinched. Potter. "I was hoping I'd glimpse some of that famous temper…"

"Just keep talking, Potter," I smiled sweetly and turned to face him. "What do you want?"

"Just reminding you about tonight, meet me at the Prefects' office?" He said, rocking on the balls on his feet. I sighed.

"Yes, Potter," I turned back to finish my dinner and noticed Mary blushing. Potter had waved at her and sauntered back off to his friends. "Was that really necessary?"

"He just can't stay away," Dorcas said, elbowing Mary and winking at me.

"He can stay away from me," I muttered, looking sideways at him as he walked off. Dorcas caught me, and just sipped her soup through a smile.

Nine-o-clock unfortunately, came much too quickly for my liking. I had busied myself with a hard Arithmancy chart, and I thought I'd never catch the day when I'd wish I could stay with my Arithmancy homework. Getting up and smoothing out my skirt and making sure I looked presentable, (I even pulled my hair out of it's messy bun and was horrified when I realised I often did that to attract boys…Just to show him what his best friend had, I reassured myself), and scanned the Common Room. Potter wasn't around, so I guessed he must have been down in our Office.

I took my time getting down there, not really caring I'd be late and I'd probably get a lecture from Potter – but I had to shake my head about the recent mood he'd been in. Friendly…almost, jovial, towards me.

I opened the door to find him behind the Head Boy's desk – head resting on his hands, chewing on a quill and looking… frustrated, angry, even upset.

"Potter?" I said, softly, questionably. He looked up, a little shaken at my sudden appearance, and tucked whatever he was looking at under a text book.

"Evans!" He said, too cheerfully for my liking. I raised an eyebrow at him and he raised one back. "You're late."

He was smiling and I think I felt myself frown. "I'm sorry?" I said, a little sarcastically.

"All's forgiven," He said, grabbing his jumper off the back of his chair, his Head Boy badge glinting in my direction. I stepped out the office and waiting for him, watching as he locked the door behind us. "So, how do you normally do this?"

"On my own," I said shortly. "Regulus and I don't have much to talk about and Paris has too much to talk about."

He laughed. "I knew I liked Paris," He mused. "Well, Evans, considering I'm Head Boy, I think we'll do it my way."

I sighed, "Which is?"

"Together," He said happily, putting an arm around my shoulders and steering me down the corridor. I shrugged it off me, trying to look repulsed, but the boy smelt quite nice. A mixture of something like leather and something sweet like Apple Pie. I mentally slapped myself. What the hell, Evans?

"You are so bi-polar," I muttered, folding my arms across my chest and shooting him a look, and wondering if I meant it more towards myself…

"Sorry?" He said, smiling, looking down at me. I paused to check an empty classroom. Satisfied I joined him again.

"Bi-polar… schizophrenic… multiple personalities?" I said, twirling my wand around my fingers. I had to mentally congratulate myself – I was being quite civil. He laughed, and mimicked me by folding his arms across his chest and trying to look offended.

"Why do you say that?" He queried, turning around to check out a noise behind us, which turned out to be someone's cat.

"You are being… strange," I offered, trying not to look at him and trying to word this right. Maybe I could get out of him what he wanted with Mary. "We didn't start this year on the best of terms, Potter. You hate my guts. And the feeling is mutual," I added, watching him opening his mouth to say something, but I cut across. "You would berate me about being late, and now 'all's forgiven'? You always looked positively stormy when I was around Sirius and now you're hanging around making really inappropriate comments about my hair colour."

I took a breath, Potter was grinning, quite comically. "I just always wondered…"

I shoved him away from me so hard he almost crashed into a suit of armour, but he was laughing. I fought the urge to smile.

"A lot of boys do," I said coyly, running a hand through it, and waiting for Potter to regain his balance, and fix the arm of the suit of armour he'd bent when I shoved him.

"I'll bet," He said, looking at his handiwork and moving on. I stared at the back of his head. That was it?

I followed behind him, mainly because I didn't want to breathe in that smell of him anymore and to think about what the hell was I doing. Was I flirting with Potter, or attempting too? I shook it out of my mind. I did it with most boys, I comforted myself… He's being civil and I'm being…me.

He turned around and stopped, waiting for me to catch up. "Problem?"

I shook my head as a no, but then stopped, feeling a word vomit coming up. "Actually, yes."

"What?" He said, pausing and turning, look quizzically around us.

"What are you playing at?" I blurted out. "I mean with Mary."

He smiled, an eyebrow raised. "I don't know what you're talking about Evans."

I gripped my wand, feeling a little angry with him. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Potter."

"I don't see how it's any different to what _you're _doing." His eyebrow was still raised, and he was smiling a little condescendingly at me. He turned and began walking again. He was right, of course. My best friend, his best friend.

I strode to catch up with him and we fell into stride. He looked down at me, "I'm glad you're being so open to us being civil, Evans."

I stopped dead in my tracks, again. "What is that meant to mean?"

"Well, it'll just make everything so much easier." He said, like it was meant to be obvious. I shook my head at him and began walking.

"What are you on about?"

"Slughorns'… you know, you're obviously going with Sirius and I'm going with Mary… would be nice to not have us fighting, no? And then there's always after Slughorns'…"

"After Slughorn's _what_?" I said, a little coolly. Where was he going with this?

"You never know," He tapped his nose and I felt my anger bubbling up in my chest once again.

"I know Mary is not that kind of girl," I seethed, feeling myself gripping my wand again, stopping to face him. His eyes widened.

"That's not what I meant, Evans," He put his hand on my shoulder and steered, forcing me to walk on. "I mean, Sirius is going to want to take you on date to somewhere other than the kitchen soon… and I mean, I'll see how things go with Mary…"

"Oh," I heard myself say, feeling a little embarrassed for myself.

"And you can't blame Sirius," Potter was grinning and I braced myself for what was coming. "I think I planted a seed. I think he also is intrigued to find out if your hair matches your-"

This time, I shoved him up against the wall and pointed my wand at his throat.

"Finish that sentence Potter," I seethed, although I was slightly amused at the situation. I had Potter pressed up against a wall, my wand at his throat, and he was laughing.

"Eyebrows, Evans," He said, chuckling. "Geez."

I rolled my eyes and let him go. The boy was infuriating.

"Why are you being weird?" I muttered, looking sideways at him.

"Why?" He said, shooting me a grin. "Do you like it?"

I rolled my eyes at him and checked an empty room to save me from answering him.

I had to admit, though I wouldn't to him… I think I did.

* * *

><p><em>If you think that this story deserves some recognition, only you have the power to do it! Hit that button and REVIEW! :D<em>


	7. Kiss and Tell

A_uthors Notes:_

_THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! Fifteen thank you's for my fifteen reviews! I am so incredibly happy, and thank you for being so honest and letting me know what you think and what you want to see. _

_I am not completey happy with this chapter. I stared at it for hours then days. I just couldn't get it out! But I guess it's just a hurdle I had to get over in order to move on in the story! Or at least that's how I'm looking at it. It gets a little angsty... I apologise. But not heavily. And there's a situation between Lily and Sirius that could possibly be M? But I haven't explicitly stated anything sexual - but let me know what you think. Because I am feeling so unsure about this chapter I really need your feedback more than ever. So... Twenty reviews? I'd love to get to 100 soon! So PLEASE let me know if it's okay, if I should maybe change it or re work it...? _

_Anyway, I hope you enjoy!_

_I apologise for any mistakes, spelling or grammatically ... it's currently 2.30am my time. _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, just doing this for fun... You Me at Six (they're albums are the main inspiration for this story!) For title and lyrics..._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven - Kiss and Tell<strong>

_"Everybody wants to be in your hair, under your skin and in those clothes, on those lips...but me."_

* * *

><p>I had awoken that morning in a surprisingly good mood. Potter was an efficient patroller, making sure we had finished on time even though it was one of the most detailed and thorough patrols I had done in a while. Potter had done most of the talking – he had decided to give me the story behind every single one of his and Sirius' detentions. He'd stopped with the inappropriate comments about my hair colour, and I half expected him to quiz me on what I was doing with Sirius, but it never came.<p>

I pulled apart my curtains to find Dorcas and Mary had already gone down to breakfast, or the library for homework. They often let me have a lye in after my patrols. I showered, dressed and made myself presentable in my own time, and grabbed a novel from my trunk to enjoy while I ate breakfast.

I entered the Hall to find that Dorcas and Mary must have been in the library doing homework, and the Great Hall was almost empty, a few students dotted at their tables here and there. Feeling slightly relieved that I would get some time to myself, I settled into a bowl of porridge and honey, and opened up my novel.

A very peaceful fifteen minutes had passed, when suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, and someone lean down to press (quite a wet, sloppy) kiss to my cheek. I had caught a glimpse of black hair and smiled as I turned to my left to return one to Sirius. I felt my stomach drop when I saw who was sitting there, arms crossed and grinning from ear to ear.

"Potter!" I snapped, rubbing my cheek free of his saliva and then shoving him away from me. "Are you serious!"

This only caused him to grin further and I had to roll my eyes at my own choice of words. "Really Evans, I thought you could tell the difference."

I swatted him away with my novel and frowned in his direction. "What do you want?"

Potter pretended to think this through. "Lots of things, Evans. To win the Cups…to become a teacher of some sort… oh! And for Sirius to stop whinging that Quidditch practice is taking time away that he could be spending with you."

I had to smile. It was then that I noticed that Potter was dressed in his Quidditch gear, sans robes. I felt my stare lingering on the leather and knew it was what I smelt when near him. I opened up my novel and pretended to be finding my place.

"Please leave, Potter," I said, eyes on my novel, "You have managed to ruin what was turning out to be a perfect morning."

"I'm not leaving unless you're coming with me." Potter said, leaning across me to grab a scone. I sighed, putting my novel down and fixing him a look.

"Why would I be coming with you?"

"Well… Sirius' mind is obviously elsewhere. Here, actually," he said, gesturing to me sitting with my novel. "So I figured if you'd come down to watch us …"

I simply stared at him. Potter had almost a wild look in his eye, which I knew was from Quidditch, the love of his life. He was smiling, looking jovial.

"Come on," he pleaded. "You can see Sirius in leather, instead of staring appreciatively at me…"

I scoffed and made a point to not look at him. I did think about it – I hadn't seen or spent much time with Sirius since Thursday night. It was turning out I'd seen and spoken to Potter more than I had Sirius.

"Fine," I said resignedly. "But I'm going to get Dorcas and Mary."

"Excellent!" Potter said, jumping up from his seat and holding out his hand to help me up, which I ignored. Who did he think he was, really? Did he think patrolling together made us friends or something? Or was Potter really interested in Mary and was really just trying to be civil…

He draped an arm around my shoulders, his leather arm guards squelching slightly. "Ah Evans," he said. "You won't regret this. Getting to see Sirius and I get all hot and sweaty…"

I picked his arm of my shoulder and shot him a smirk, about to turn off to go to the Library. "Potter, I have already seen Sirius hot and sweaty… no broomsticks were involved, you were not in the picture and I was definitely not just watching…"

I walked off, only turning back around to poke my tongue out at his stunned face.

* * *

><p>After much convincing, with every reason I could think of, sunshine, fresh air, boys (Potter for Mary), it's a Saturday etc, Dorcas and Mary did finally agree to come down to watch Gryffindor practice.<p>

"Mary was making an excellent start on our Divination assignment, Evans," Dorcas said, stuffing her things into her bad and smirking at me. "Just because you don't do Divination you've sabotaged her attention and turned it onto Potter."

"Divination," I scoffed. "What a woolly subject. Mary, wouldn't you rather see something real… like Potter in chaps?"

Mary giggled as she packed up her belongings, and Dorcas rolled her eyes.

"Well," She said, linking arms with Mary and myself as we left the Library. "I did predict a Quidditch Player in my near future!"

"How was the patrol last night, Lily?" Mary asked as we walked down to the pitch. Dorcas turned to stare at me, and I could see something pulling at the corner of her mouth and I just knew what she wanted to know.

"Great," I said, happily. Mary raised an eyebrow. "I did get to show Potter something…"

"Oh?" Dorcas snickered.

"My temper, of course." I said, smiling at Mary. "I nearly hexed his head off and then he was surprisingly… nice."

"Oh, good!" Mary said pulling her cardigan tighter around her as we went outside. The weather was quite cool, and it was hard to imagine that only weeks ago we were walking outside to have the sun burn our shoulders. "I'm so glad you two are getting along. We'll all have such a good time at Slughorns'."

As we walked onto the pitch, a series of cat-calls and whistles could be heard and I looked up to see Sirius as the instigator. He was near the goalposts, and I realised he must have been the Keeper to Potters' Chaser. The cat-calls and whistling took Potter's attention from shouting at another Chaser. He looked down to see us clambering up into the stands. While he looked a little miffed, he waved happily at Mary, who made some sort of excited squeak and blushed. I noticed Pettigrew and Remus sitting on the highest row, Remus looking a little sick and quite rugged up. Pettigrew had a set of Muggle binoculars.

"They dragged you out too, huh?" I said, patting Remus' shoulder as I took a seat next to him. He smiled, and Pettigrew lowered his bionuclars to smile a little awkwardly at us.

"No, despite what you may think I am an avid Quidditch supporter," Remus said, feigning an air of indignation. He winked at me and then inclined his head at Potter. "I like watching him coach, it's like a different guy."

I had to agree. Potter looked fast, and dangerous and in control on his broom. He'd shout and yell and be encouraging and positive at the same time. He'd show someone a technique then show it again for good measure, all while trying to play himself and keep an eye out for other players. I noticed Sirius looked a little unhappy, bored, restless…

"What's up with Sirius?" I asked Remus, taking a piece of Honeyduke's Best Chocolate he was handing around. Remus barely looked up as he broke the bar into more pieces.

"The first game is against Slytherin," he said, and I nodded. He didn't really have to say more. "He doesn't like playing against Regulus."

"And he got the howler last night," Pettigrew said, frowning at Remus as he lowered the binoculars. I noticed Remus elbow Peter and purse his lips, smiling when he noticed me looking. "Oh, what a catch!"

I had a feeling Pettigrew and Remus didn't want to – or weren't allowed to go further. But I did feel quite bad for Sirius so I managed to catch his eye and blow him a kiss. He smiled, and pretended to catch it, and throw it through the goal posts. I grinned.

"How are you?" I mouthed; I could tell that Remus was watching our exchange. Sirius shrugged, moving away from the goal posts slowly on his broomstick, checking over his shoulder for Potter I presumed. He crossed his arms over his chest and pretended to sulk, sticking out his lower lip.

"Need cheering up?" I mouthed at him. Luckily, Dorcas and Mary were in a heated discussion with each other, I was catching snippets of the conversation and from what I could tell it was which Chaser was better looking…

Sirius looked over his shoulder again and sped over to the stands where we were sitting. I got up and walked over the railing, which Sirius was leaning on, with what I could only describe as a wicked grin on his face.

"Do I ever," He said, answering my previous question. He looked over his shoulder again and I followed his gaze to see Potter frowning in our direction, Quaffle still in his hands. He then sighed forlornly. "How I wish more than just my broom was being mounted this morning…"

I laughed loudly. Behind me I heard a clatter, which told me Pettigrew had dropped his binoculars. Remus coughed and Dorcas stopped in mid-sentence. Sirius waggled his eyebrows suggestively. I looked up at him through my lashes and was about to reply when –

It was a sickening crack. The yell of pain that followed was even worse. Pettigrew and Remus jumped up from their seats and I heard Mary gasp. Sirius whipped around and was gone before I saw, but I eventually did – Potter's arm was twisted in an unnatural angle, his face tinged green and his teeth gritted in pain. From what I gathered by the two Beaters who were wrestled to put the Bludgers back in the trunk, Potter had been hit. This seemed strange to me – at Quidditch matches Potter dodged them expertly…

I felt Mary brush past me and run down the stairs, Remus and Pettigrew close behind her. I felt Dorcas' hand on my elbow. I was hesitant to join the others on the pitch – like blood, injuries - broken bones, people in pain… not exactly my cup of tea. We linked arms and walked down together, and I grimaced as I heard Potter shout in pain again. When we eventually got there, I saw Sirius trying to gingerly take of Potter's arm guards, and once he had he tossed them to the floor, along with Potter's glove from that hand. Mary was grasping Potter's good hand, looking like she had been a Quidditch player's girlfriend for years, used to this sort of thing. I felt a slight pang of jealousy. Sirius nodded at her and they helped Potter up on his feet. Remus and Pettigrew began to follow them to the Hospital Wing, and I heard Potter shout something over his shoulder that sounded like 'Keep practicing!' Some of his team laughed, and began packing up the equipment. I gathered up Potter's discarded things, and began walking back the to the castle with Dorcas. I felt out of sorts…

"Well," Dorcas sighed, as we got inside, "After all that excitement, I'm going to go finish some homework. See you in a bit?"

I nodded, gesturing to the leather in my hands, "I'd better get these back to Potter."

She grinned at me. "Just don't linger… Mary is probably in her element right now."

I frowned at her as she started to walk away, a grin on her face. "What is that meant to mean, Meadows?"

She just waved at me over her shoulder, and I could hear her snickering. Frowning at the back of her head I sighed, and made my way to the Hospital Wing. I pushed open the heavy doors to the infirmary to find Potter alone, sitting up in bed flexing his fingers. Confused, I made my way slowly over. Where was Mary, Sirius, Remus and Pettigrew?

As if answering my thoughts, Potter looked up and said to me, "You just missed the others."

"I had thought as much," I said. I gestured to his arm. "All fixed?"

"Never better," He said happily, stretching his arm out. "Madame Pomfrey fixed it in seconds."

"How bad was it?" I asked, sitting on the bed next to him. I didn't really want to know, but I figured I must have looked pretty bad hanging around up in the stands as everyone had raced over to check if he was okay, lingering behind as the others went up with him… wait, why did I care?

"Dislocated my shoulder and broke it at the elbow," He said, as if it were some sort of accomplishment. I guess for Potter it was – as far as I knew, he had a record for not getting injured during Quidditch.

I grimaced. "So… where are the others?"

"Mary went to find you, I'm pretty sure. And the lads are off to get supplies…" Potter trailed off, tapping his fingers on the table across his lap, which held a goblet of pumpkin juice and what I thought was Apple Pie… I also noticed Potter was avoiding my eyes.

"Supplies?" I frowned.

"Yes, Evans, supplies…" He still avoided looking at me, and took a sip of his juice. "We thought we'd throw a little party tonight – a premature celebration of us killing Slytherin next week… my first injury… Life?"

"Fair enough," I nodded. I did like the parties that happened in the Common Room at times, and it was a perfect excuse to have a night off homework. "Or is it just an excuse to mend your pride?"

I don't know where it came from, we were actually being quite nice to each other… I guess I wanted a reaction, and it worked. Potter looked up at me and raised his eyebrows.

"What?" He said slowly. I smirked.

"Well, like you said. Your first injury… I mean, in games you manage to dodge everything that gets thrown at you, and today…" I trailed off, shaking my head. "I mean, what distracted you?"

"Mary," He shot back, his eyebrows narrowing. I felt that feeling in my stomach again, and I was also starting to feel angry. "Now, if you don't mind leaving Evans, you are ruining what was turning out to be a perfect recovery…"

I felt my words being thrown back at me from this morning, and I also felt embarrassed, stupid to think Potter and I could be civil. I knew the friendliness was a charade, probably some bet to get Mary to go out with him without any hesitation. There was a strange lump in my throat.

"Fine," I managed to get out, and for good measure I threw his gear at him, satisfied when they hit him square in the chest. I turned on my heel and strode out.

* * *

><p>I avoided the party.<p>

Instead, I feigned a headache, grabbed a novel and retreated to the Prefects' Office, a luxury I sometimes used to just have time to myself. It was quite a big space, divided into one room with the Head's desks, the meeting room and then a separate lounge, which I was currently in. Bookshelves lined the walls with books on rules, books on how to peer mediate, punishments, rewards etc. Overall, I liked it.

I sighed. Overall, I just didn't want to face Potter. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to see Mary fawning all over him and making a fool of herself – she liked a complete idiot. I stared angrily at his desk – tempted to trash it with a few well chosen spells.

I had always enjoyed parties, I liked drinking, I liked socialising… I liked these parties when Potter held them and I absolutely hated his guts, when I didn't care about Sirius… what had changed? I still hated Potter's guts…

I had decided that I just liked things to be stable. I liked the changes in my life to be out of my choices and my decisions. Sirius Black in my life – me. Good grades – me. Prefect – me. Potter was just too much. I was right about this multiple personalities, and I just couldn't be bothered with that. Unexplainably, I felt irritated with Mary… and I thought I'd better avoid making a scene at the party… I knew she was happy. I felt bad about not telling them where I was going, or even letting Sirius know I wasn't going to be there…

But we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. We weren't anything, so why should it matter.

I tried with great difficulty to read my novel. I kept thinking I should have been up enjoying myself, and at the same time I kept reminding myself why I didn't want to be there. I glanced at my watch – 9.00. The party still had at least three hours to go. I sighed, rubbing my eyes. This was stupid.

The portrait suddenly opened, and I hoped it was just Claudia or another Prefect filling in a report or something similar. It wasn't.

"What the hell," Sirius said, sauntering over to me with what looked like a beer and a flute of champagne in his hands, "are you doing in here?"

"How the hell," I said, taking the flute he held out to me and smiling, "did you find me?"

"I have my ways," He said, sitting next to me on the couch. I surveyed him – he looked considerably happier than he had this morning. He didn't seem drunk, he seemed a little buzzed, perhaps just content.

"I'm surprised you're not with Potter, blindly drunk…" I said, sipping the sparkling wine he had gotten me. Normally I didn't mind champagne… tonight, the taste was bitter on my tongue and I felt that stupid lump in my throat come back. What the hell was going on with me?

Sirius picked up a lock of my long hair in between his long fingers, twirling it. "I don't have much to celebrate... James is amusing himself."

"I'm sure he does," I said coolly. Just his name irked me. Sirius raised an eyebrow and leaned in to study my face.

"What's up?" He said, tilting my chin up. I sighed, resignedly.

"Potter… and before you laugh or make excuses for him, he was just really horrible to me after his accident!" I sounded like a child. "I'm trying to make an effort with being civil, for our sake, and for his and Mary's…"

Sirius did laugh however. He kissed my forehead, then shook his head at me. "He was probably horrible because Remus, Peter and I had riled him up a little about this accident… He's always been really proud of having an accident free record, you see."

So I was right all along. I knew Potter's pride had been injured. I knew his ego was suffering… Mary was such a sweet girl that she wouldn't have known to stroke it for him after the boys left… He was just taking it out on me.

I took a long sip of my champagne; feeling better, then set it down on the table next to the couch. I climbed into Sirius' lap, and kissed him, long and deep. He grabbed my hips, bringing me in closer to his chest, one hand becoming tangled in my long hair. I broke away, my lips almost burning. He hummed, contently.

"Hello," He said, running a thumb over my lips. I caught it in my mouth, sucking slightly. He groaned, and I grinned.

"I did ask if you needed cheering up…" I said, placing my hands on his chest. I decided to ask; even though I had a feeling it might dampen the mood. "I heard you received a Howler last night…"

He sighed, resting his head back on the couch. "It was nothing. I just looked at Regulus wrong and mother dearest heard about it…"

I must have looked sceptical because he kissed me, and I could tell it was a distraction method. We broke away from each other and I noticed he had a particularly wild glint in his eye.

"So…" he said, his hands planted on my hips, "Want to get back at James for being so horrible to you?"

I cocked my head to the side, interested. "I guess, but-"

He suddenly picked me up, putting my legs around his waist, and carried me over to the room with the Head's desks… I grinned at him, as I knew where he was going. He pushed Potter's books off the desk, and I noticed some picture frames fall to the floor, the people within the frames protesting. He sat me down, my legs still around his waist, my dress hitched dangerously high. My breath caught in my throat as he reached down to pull his shirt over his head. I leaned back on my arms, taking in the sight before me. Looking at the desk I breathed, "Why didn't I think of this sooner?"

"I've been thinking about it…" leaning over me and whispering in my ear, "…For weeks."

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><p>Sirius had persuaded me to come back to the party, and to be honest, I did want to. I wanted more of him, and mostly, I wanted to rub it in Potter's face. And of course, gossip with the girls. I had a feeling it would be obvious from just looking at us what we had been up to. As long as Potter put two and two together, then I didn't really care who else did.<p>

"I send Sirius to go look for you and he returns with you almost two hours later," Dorcas said, walking over to me and thrusting a drink into my hands. "I swear, you and Mary…"

I ran a hand through my hair, a little embarrassed to note it was slightly wet with sweat. "Where is Miss MacDonald?"

"Probably close to doing the exact same thing you and Sirius have been doing…" She said, eyeing me up and down, a smirk playing on her lips. "Potter just dragged her out."

I almost broke the plastic flute I was holding. It was almost as if he had planned it! I looked around the Common Room, glad to see Potter had still at least tried to act like the Head Boy he was meant to be. The music was down low, the place reasonably tidy. No one had passed out anywhere, all the younger students were in bed. I had nothing to fault. Remus and Peter were sitting with the girls from their year, talking about one of the classes, and I noticed Sirius with them, stretched out on an armchair like a content cat. He winked at me and I blew a kiss back.

"Sickening," Dorcas said, looking between the two of us. I poked my tongue out at her. "I've had enough, and I want to get up early to finish homework. Coming?"

I was also tired. I felt physically tired, but also content, like a shower and bed would be the perfect end to the night. My mind had been put to rest. I nodded, but felt something was amiss. "Yeah, I will-" I felt my pocket. I'd left my wand in the Prefect's Office. I sighed, "I've left my wand in the Office. I'll see you up there in a bit."

Dorcas nodded, and made her way up to our dormitory. I made my way over to Sirius, who perked up as he saw me. I was reminded of a dog whose master had just returned to them, in a way. I sat on the arm of his chair and kissed him.

"Goodnight," I whispered against his lips. "I've left my wand in the Office. I'm going to get it and then I'm off to bed."

He nodded, his thumb circling a pattern on my wrist. "I won't be far behind you. Goodnight, Lily."

"Sweet dreams," I said, kissing nose and walking out the Common Room. I let my mind wander as I walked back to the Office. I wasn't too worried about being caught out of bed, I was a Prefect and I did have a legitimate excuse. There was also a part of me that just didn't care. I had to giggle, thinking Sirius was becoming a bad influence on me. When I got back to the Office, my wand wasn't where I thought I'd left it. I spent a good twenty minutes looking under cushions, the couch, the coffee table. I had just located it under Potter's desk (I giggled again) and was on all fours trying to get it when the portrait swung open.

Potter.

Potter looking a little drunk, and a little angry. He looked at me, and then his desk, then back at me. I grabbed my wand hurriedly and stood up, smoothing down my dress. I shot Potter a satisfied smirk.

"And I thought he was joking," Potter said, leaning against Claudia's desk.

"Sirius told you?" I said, a little angry. I knew they were like brothers but really? To share that…?

"Not in so many words," Potter said, and I also noticed he sounded a little angry. He stepped forward to examine his desk and then just smiled a smile without much mirth. "I thought I'd better come check for myself, I thought, you see, that even you wouldn't stoop _that _low."

"Excuse me?" I snapped, taking a step toward him. "Sirius is _low_?"

Potter scoffed and crossed his arms across his chest. "What's low is not Sirius – it's what you did, a really cheap, low shot at me Evans. You know how I feel about you and Sirius."

"No, I don't actually!" I said, my voice bordering on slightly hysterical. "I _thought _I knew what you thought. Then you start hanging around us, then you are friendly, and nice to me and you don't interrogate me on what's going on between us, then you invite me to your Quidditch practice to make Sirius happy, then you are completely horrible in the Hospital Wing, and you are still completely horrible!"

I took a breath and continued, "I thought that maybe we were becoming friendly. Not friends, but friendly. So I'm not going to apologise for your desk, because really, get over it. You deserve it. So until you make up your - "

I didn't get to finish my rant. Before I knew it, and really, I didn't know what was happening and I couldn't comprehend _why _it was happening – Potter had stormed over to me, closing the distance between us and had grabbed my face in his hands and was kissing me. And for some stupid, insane, totally illogical reason I was letting him. It was angry and our teeth clashed a couple of times and when I finally realised what the hell was going on I pushed Potter away from me with as much force as I could muster. I was shaking.

"What was that?" I all but snarled at him, wiping my mouth on the back on my hand. Potter took hurried steps away from me, looking a little wide-eyed. He also put the back of his hand to his mouth. He was shaking his head.

"I don't know," He finally said, his voice hoarse. He cleared his throat, looking around uncertainly. He finally strode over to the Portrait, his hand pausing before opening it. I just stared at him, in a state of shock myself.

"I guess," He sighed, looking down and swinging the portrait open, "I just wanted to see what Sirius was so happy about."

And with that he strode out, slamming the Portrait shut behind him.

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><p>R E V I E W! (please).<p> 


	8. Loverboy

**Author's Note:** _... *ducks things thrown at her*. I am SO sorry for such a delay. I have to be honest with you... very close to abandoning this story. I have very mixed feelings after reading a lot of okay stories out there that get a lot of reviews, when I agonize over every sentence to get my works right and get some snarky reviews back ... BUT this scene would not leave my head and I had to get it out AND I didn't want to let the snarky reviews get in the way of the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING reviewers and readers I do have - Thank you (I love you!). I HOPE it satisfies ... it's a little short, but I just wanted to get it out. _

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling - everything. You Me at Six for lyrics and title - 'Loverboy'.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

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><p><em>I beg for attention in small doses...<em>

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><p>Potter and I had gone back to ignoring each other in the same fashion we had done previously, before all his mess. We'd send each other furtive glances over dinner, or in the Common Room, make it a point not to touch each other, to make sure our robes didn't accidently brush each others. And if I had thought it would go unnoticed, I was wrong.<p>

"Alright," Dorcas said, slamming a particularly large encyclpedia down onto our table in the Common Room. "What the hell is going on between you and Potter?"

I didn't look up from flipping through a new copy of Teen Witch I had just been owled, very aware that Mary was next to me. I felt horrible, and while I was doing a good job of acting cool, my insides were squirming, aching with guilt. I had burst into tears when Potter had left that night. Almost a week had passed and I could still feel the way my lips had burnt after our kiss, the taste of the Firewhisky he'd been drinking before. I'd been finding it difficult to look Sirius in the eye, and had to mentally calm myself when Mary talked about Potter.

"I don't know why you're asking me," I said airily and jerked my head towards Mary, "She's the one involved with him."

Dorcas made an indignant sound and crossed her arms over her chest. "You know what I'm talking about."

Mary gently nudged me with her elbow. I looked up at her to find her brown eyes bright and a smile on her face. "You two have been acting strange."

The image of Potter storming towards me, and grabbing my face in his hands swam in my mind and I shifted in my seat, pretending to be re-absorbed in my article of Hair Removing Spells.

"We just had an argument." I said, not wanting to go further. Dorcas rolled her eyes and finally took a seat, taking out parchment and a quill from her bag. Mary returned to her own work, still smiling.

"Nothing new then, right?" She said while Mary sighed through her smile.

"And you two were doing so well…" She said, poking her tongue out at me. I smiled as best I could back at her, thinking that yes, Potter and I had done very well indeed.

"I only asked because he just told me to remind you about your patrol together tomorrow night," Dorcas said, beginning to open her encyclopaedia. "And I had thought you two were over all that…you were becoming quite chummy."

I scoffed at that, but I groaned inwardly, remembering our stupid patrol together, and actually quite surprised that Potter hadn't scheduled someone in his place. The twisting in my stomach had gotten worse, I was actually feeling sick and felt something rising in my throat. I felt like such a horrible person, and it didn't help that I couldn't tell the girls and get the constant replay of the night out of my head. I'd had half a mind to tell Sirius, to end whatever it was we were doing so that I could go back to not constantly feeling sick, and angry with myself, and Potter. There were plenty of boys in my year I could distract myself with.

An advert for a dress at robe shop in Hogsmeade reminded me of Slughorn's party, and I had to resist every urge to hit my head against the edge of the table. I grabbed for my goblet of water and tried to swallow what I couldn't determine as word vomit or actual vomit. When I really thought about it, Potter and I only kissed, and it was a completely rubbish kiss at that. I hadn't instigated it, I hated it … but I couldn't get it out of my head. A part of me told the part of me that wanted to end it with Sirius that it could have been a lot worse. It wasn't like I had slept with Potter, or that I had willingly participated in the kiss.

I just wasn't sure that I was angry with Potter for it. And now I had to patrol with him, as well as 'hang out' with him at Slughorn's. Deciding I needed time to myself, I closed my magazine and grabbed my bag.

"I'm off to use my ridiculously huge bath," I said, referring to the Prefects' bathroom, which I actually hardly used. Mary nodded; absorbed in the Potions essay I'd managed to finish earlier.

Dorcas groaned, "Jealous."

I smirked at her, and made my way back to the dormitory where I disposed of my bag and grabbed some clean casual clothes.

I noted the sick feeling in my stomach had subsided as I reached the door to the Prefect's bathroom on the fifth floor. Speaking the password, I was relieved when the door clicked open, meaning no one else was using the bathroom. I was so eager to get into that bath that I practically stormed into the place, not bothering to look up. I threw my belongings down onto a marble bench and reaching for the hem of my jumper to pull it over my head. My arms suddenly froze, a very familiar scent invading my nostrils. I felt a slight jolt of panic when I realised what tap it was – it was a tap I used very occasionally, not particularly wanting to smell like a dessert. I lowered my arms, forcing my jumper back down, and dreading what I thought I would see before me. And I was right to dread it - it was almost like my senses were being invaded, my nostrils being filled with the smell of warm apple pie, and my eyes invaded with the sight of James Potter wrapping a towel around his slim waist.

He raised an eyebrow in my direction, eyes raking over my messy hair, untucked shirt, and undoubtedly red cheeks. I cleared my throat and averted my gaze to something, anything that wasn't Potter in a fucking towel.

"You know, there is a deadbolt on the inside of that door for a reason, Potter," I said shakily, managing to find my voice. Part of me wanted to look at his reaction, another part wanted to just get the hell out of that bathroom.

"I have nothing to hide," He said, and I could see out the corner of my eye he was gathering up his uniform and clean clothes. He motioned towards me, "Carry on, Evans."

I looked at him to find a ghost of a grin on his face. He looked reserved – the same steely, cold look he'd been giving me since the night we'd kissed – but not as angry as the look he had given me before we kissed. I noticed in horror that he was walking over to where I stood, frozen to the spot. He dumped his clothes next to mine and looked down at me.

"Need a hand?" His smile was smug and I took a couple of steps away from him. _Sirius, Mary, Sirius, Mary_ was the constant mantra in my head. What was Potter doing, so close to me, in a towel, flirting – when we'd made sure we were never in a situation to repeat what had happened.

"Can you please just put your clothes on and leave," I managed to choke out, making a move to turn around when he said, reaching for his shirt.

"I'm glad you're looking at me so greedily, Evans."

"What?" I snapped, whirling back around and really wishing I hadn't. The towel had slipped lower now that Potter wasn't holding onto it, but taking his own sweet time pulling his shirt sleeves inside-out. I swallowed hard and attempted to cross my arms and look at him sternly (and praying that I was not looking at him greedily).

"Come on…I'm a towel…you can't resist. You can't help but notice." He winked, finally getting his shirt on and doing up his buttons, "You should walk around in a towel…I'd certainly notice."

I didn't know what to say or where to look. I was standing there flushed and finding it hard to string a sentence together and I wanted to slap myself. I thrived in these situations – I fed of them, I thought of clever things to say. But alarm bells were going off in my head, what was Potter thinking – especially after the last time we were together in close proximity in a heated situation. We'd avoided each other like the plague the whole week and now I was finding it hard to step away from him. Finally, the image of Mary's bright eyes when she talked about Potter came to mind and I pushed him away from me and took a few steps back.

"What are you doing?" It came out a little hysterically; I was satisfied to note his cheeks flush. "Have you forgotten last week? Have you forgotten we are somewhat involved with each other's _friends_?"

"I am not involved with Mary," He said coolly, taking a step towards me but I stepped back, my back suddenly hitting the while marble of the wall. "I asked her to Slughorns, that's it."

"Oh, please," I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. "You as well as proposed, Potter. And in any case, she really likes you, and this," I gestured to the space between us, to essentially him and I, "isn't fair on her. Leave."

I pointed towards the door in what I hoped was a commanding manner – he all but scoffed. "And what about you?"

"What about me?" I snapped back. We were glaring at each other, and I noticed Potter had put his glasses back on. I could see his jaw locked, hazel eyes cool. What did he want to know, exactly, and why was he still here?

"Do _you _like me?"

"Ha!" I let out, moving away from my place against the wall. I couldn't believe this. "I like Sirius…" my voice caught in my throat and it was his turn to cross his arms over his chest and scoff.

"Do you?" He said, taking another step before me. "Do you even know him?"

The twisting in my gut was back – Potter was infuriating me. All I wanted him to do was leave but at the same time I wanted him to stay, to keep talking, to… to what, exactly? He was right – did I really know Sirius? I knew of him, as did many girls in my year. I knew what he had wanted me to know about him… I looked up at Potter to find him smirking.

"I know he isn't you," I snapped.

"How many times have you seen him this week?" Potter said, sounding angry himself. He was getting closer to me.

"None – thanks to you and your stupid stunt last Saturday," I said coolly, hands on hips. He laughed, but it wasn't with humor.

"Stop blaming me, Evans," He said, "You haven't seen each other because there's _nothing _there, there wasn't to begin with!"

"Shut up," I seethed. How dare Potter presume he knew about me, and about my relationship with Sirius. "There is something there Potter, you're just angry that something happened on your desk!"

He scoffed and grabbed his boxers and jeans, marching behind a corner to shrug them on. I found myself following him.

"And what about you – if you feel nothing for Mary stop messing around with her, stop using her." I shouted at him, hearing him do up his belt buckle. He came out dressed, his cheeks flushed.

"You're one to talk, Evans," He said, marching past me, hitting my shoulder as he went to grab the rest of his clothes.

"What?" I said, slowly, not liking the feeling that was in my stomach. He looked smug, satisfied, and he gathered his clothes up.

"Oh yeah, Evans," He said matter-of-factly, stepping so close to me and bending down so our noses nearly touched. "The hilarious thing is that you and Sirius are using each other. You both just don't see it."

On impulse, and with what seemed to be the norm between him and I, I didn't know what was happening or why I did it, but I slapped him. My hand hit his warm cheek with a smack that resounded in the marble bathroom. Horrified, I drew my hand back to me, staring at it as if it had done it of it's own accord. Potter himself looked stunned, and held his backhand up to his cheek.

"Right," He said, nodding and turning away from me, "I get it."

"Potter, I'm sorry, but what the hell were you going on about?" I said, a little hopelessly. I was embarrassed, and at the same time I felt sick, with what Potter had said revolving around in my head.

"Doesn't matter, Evans," He said, walking towards the door.

"You can't do that," I said, following him and again finding my voice slightly hysterical. "You can't say things like that and then walk away."

He paused, his hand on the copper door knob. He looked at me, almost a little tiredly. "Like you would even listen."

I heard the door slam before I could open my mouth. I made to run after him and then stopped myself, thankfully. I felt that lump in my throat and felt that burning in my eyes, like I had done after he had stormed out after kissing me. I was _not _going to cry over James fucking Potter and the craziness that came with him. I was going to get in that bath, have time to myself and forget what had happened, forget what Potter had said.

Pinching my eyes shut to get rid of the tears, I took a deep breath and proceeded to get on with my evening.

_What did he mean?_

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><p><em>There's a little button there... feel free to hit it :)<em>


	9. No One Does it Better

**Author's Note:**

_I really feel truly lucky, and blessed and grateful to the reviewers who reviewed Chapter Eight. You were so encouraging, and sweet and I realised how much of a baby I was being. _

_I am sorry if it came across like I was spoilt child, thinking I wasn't getting reviews for this - the response to my last chapter certainly proved this wrong. As much as I still feel there are works out there which have a review count that I want, I do have amazing readers - and I am updating for you, and for me._

_I have loads of ideas still for this fic (sweetbean23 - you are right ;)) and do want to keep going with it. _

_And Happy Halloween! I looked up that Halloween happened on a Sunday 1976 - so Slughorn's party, on a Saturday as to not clash with the feast, in adequately themed ;) _

_So once again, thank you for the overwhelming response - please let me know what you think about this chapter. _

_Some nice girly drama for you awaits..._

_THANK YOU! (and much, much, much love)_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I own nothing. J.K. Rowling. I mostly listen to You Me At Six when writing this story - and so no surprise that the lyrics and title are theirs :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

_Here's another test which I would fail, and at my best always ending the same..._

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><p>Saturday came too soon for my liking.<p>

I had managed to somehow push aside in my mind my altercation with Potter in the Prefect's bathroom. Perhaps it was because I didn't want to think about what he had said. I didn't want to think about Mary, or Sirius. By Saturday afternoon I was tired. With not much to do (I had completed the majority of my homework through the week), all that was left to do was think.

I didn't get the chance to ask Potter what he had meant about Sirius and I using each other. I was banking on us patrolling together so that I could. When I got to the Prefect's office I saw Potter sitting at his Head Boy desk, almost hidden by folders of the rules and point reward and deduction system. He looked up as I came in, fixed me a look and then looked to his right, where I saw Dominic sprawled on the couch in the lounge. Apparently Dominic had owed Potter one and was covering for him that night. I had sighed, fixed Potter a look of my own left to patrol with Dominic. In way I was frustrated, but I was also relieved.

Slughorn's started at seven that night, and even more annoying than the fact that Potter would be there, was that Slughorn had made it Halloween themed – seeing as tomorrow was Halloween. I was currently flitting through my trunk trying to find something remotely close to a costume. My thoughts were interrupted as Dorcas and Mary crashed into the dormitory, hair windswept and cheeks flushed from the cool wind outside. They'd run to Hogsmeade to quickly get something for Slughorn's – an offer I declined once I'd seen Potter waiting at the Portrait Hole for Mary.

A pair of devil ears were thrown my way – I noticed they started almost as non-existent and then grew slowly. I smirked up at Dorcas who was grinning.

"I remembered you had that red dress, thought it was rather fitting." She said, popping a bow with a pumpkin on it on her own head. Mary was clutching a par of cats' ears.

"These are so original," I said, rolling my eyes as I put them on my head and grabbed the red dress Dorcas was talking about out of my trunk. It was a favourite of mine – tight, silk and lace.

"They're what you get on short notice," Dorcas said, starting to rummage around her own trunk for a dress. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table and decided to get ready. In the shower I let myself muse over what Potter had said to me. He was right – I didn't really know Sirius. The difference in our age often posed as an obstacle – we never saw each other in classes, and it wasn't as if Sirius was a Prefect or that way involved – where I knew Remus from, and even Potter. How had we become drawn together in the first place? What were we doing? _Was _I using him? What did I want out of it – attention? I had never questioned a boy's attention before – never. But it seemed that with Sirius' attention came Potter's unwanted attention – and that was tiring, exhausting even. Everything Sirius and I had Potter had somehow managed to be involved, ruin it – was it worth it?

Still, I was determined to make the most of the evening, and would just have to put Potter's comment down to his knack for meddling – exactly like his lilies.

Perhaps after Slughorns' party I would know what exactly Sirius and I were, and how exactly I felt.

I left the bathroom, dressed and hair done perfectly, devil horns in place. I was about to make my way over to my dresser to start putting my make-up on, when Mary looked up from surveying her dresses on her bed and shot me a look of almost utter dislike?

"What?" I said defensively, confused and worried at the look she had given me but also ready to defend myself. I looked down at the dress and inwardly congratulated myself at this market-find. It was tight, almost painfully in some areas and didn't leave much to the imagination.

"You've already gotten him, haven't you?" She said moodily, grabbing a dress and storming into the bathroom. I whirled around ready to retort something along the lines of I didn't even know what she was talking about when I caught the smug smile on Dorcas's face. I didn't know what was going on. Yes, the dress was tight, yes, I had certainly picked a bra that really bought attention to me, but what was Mary's problem? My mother certainly wouldn't have been happy with it, and I often forgot Mary liked to think she was mine.

"What is so funny?" I all but snapped, rounding on Dorcas. "What is going on with Mary?"

Dorcas was still smiling smugly as she pulled some stockings out of her trunk. We heard the taps from the shower creak and the unmistakable sound of water told us Mary was in the shower. Dorcas sighed, and sat down on her bed, clutching a pair of orange tights.

"Her little date with James today was less than dreamy," She supplied, looking at me, smug smile removed. I raised an eyebrow.

"So why take it out on me?" I said, then gesturing my dress. "She's seen this dress before."

"So?"

"So… he was moody, a little irritable." Dorcas said and I could see the corners of her mouth pulling upward, fighting a smile. "He'd said you two had had another fight, when she asked. So, naturally, Mary was wondering when you two had seen each other to have said fight…"

I sighed, irritably. The bloody Prefects' bathroom. Why couldn't Potter have kept this stupid mouth shut, made up something?

"Look," Dorcas said, quieter this time and leaning closer to me. "I don't know what's going on with you and Potter, but could you please just… I don' know… let this run it's course first?"

"What?" I seethed, my fists clenching. What was Dorcas implying? Potter and I had had a _fight, _nothing more, and nothing less. Yes, we had kissed a week ago but really? It's not like they knew about that, and they definitely weren't going to know about it, not now at least. Deciding enough was enough (and probably I was scared some word of this would get back to Sirius, and even Potter), I grabbed my wand and with a quick Alohomora I was in our bathroom. Mary was wrapping a towel around herself, and looked shocked when she saw me leaning against the sink.

"There is nothing going on with Potter and me," I said slowly, evenly, trying to keep calm and avoid a shouting match.

"Lily," Mary sounded exasperated. "You were in the Prefect's bathroom together. I know what happens in there!"

"He was leaving!" I said, equally exasperated.

"It's just..." She said, looking down and avoiding my gaze. "Why are you two always at each other? What is going on?"

I swallowed, desperately trying not to tell her everything. It would have hurt Mary so much to know we kissed, even if it was against my will, and that I certainly didn't play a part in it. I looked at her and said, I hoped convincingly, "He just doesn't think… I'm right for Sirius, that's all."

It was my turn to look down, to avoid her brown eyes that, if were they green, would have reminded me of my mothers'. What Potter and I had was definitely hate… wasn't it? He was just simply unhappy _Evans _had his best friend…

Mary sighed, not angrily, but sadly. "Oh, I'm sorry, Lily."

She reached over to hug me, and I did hug her back, glad this hadn't escalated.

"I can't image how it must be…" She said, reaching for a lock of my hair and looking at me. "I'm sorry I thought-"

I cut her off, not wanting to hear the rest. "Like I would do that to you."

Oh, Evans, you bitch, you horrible friend, I thought as Mary hugged me tighter.

"You really do look smouldering." She said, and I noted she sounded happier.

I giggled back, "I know."

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><p>Slughorn's party was actually turning out better than I had been expecting. He had decorated the place in oranges and blacks, candles and pumpkins everywhere, with skeletons that walked around serving food and drink. Slughorn himself was dressed as an Arabian sultan of some sort, and as I watched him from where I stood with Sirius, I thought it was a look that definitely suited him. We were hidden from most of the guests, in a quiet alcove that a piece of orange chiffon was covering well. As I wasn't in the mood for a number of people, Slughorn and his many guests, Potter and Mary, this served me quite well.<p>

Sirius was dressed up, as what I thought was a skeleton, or zombie, or a cross. He was wearing a simple black shirt and pants, his face painted very realistically to resemble a skeleton – with dark patches around his eyes and his lips "stitched" shut. Looking at his face closer, I was convinced it was some sort of charm, or glamour. Despite it, he still looked very handsome.

A voice in the back of my head suggested to me that perhaps something was missing, and I was horrified to think that perhaps, even thought Sirius _was _incredibly handsome his hair could have been a little shorter and perhaps glas-

I stopped myself, horrified. Instead, I kissed him on his stitched lips, and could have sworn I felt thread against my own lips. He smiled, his hand on my back and drew me closer.

"So, what did I do to warrant the cold shoulder this week?" He said, his smile widening. I smiled back, playing with his collar.

"Have you not heard, absence makes the heart grow fonder?" I said, winking at him. I noticed Potter and Mary were directly opposite us on the other side of the room. I felt it was my… obligation, to show Mary that Potter was not the one I wanted.

"So that's what it is I've been feeling, is it?" He said, sounding amused. He bent down to whisper in my ear, "And not only in my heart…"

He pulled me closer to him and I laughed, loudly, hoping that Mary and Potter heard. I kissed him again, my fingers finding and playing with the hair that just kissed his collar. It was a good few minutes of kissing, until someone cleared their throat, interrupting us. I pulled away from Sirius to find myself looking at James Potter, who was dressed as some sort of Prince. I noticed a crown, and a jacket and sash that reminded me of Prince Charming. I raised an eyebrow at his attire – Potter was already a prince, this was hardly dressing up. He caught my raised eyebrow and said,

"And what are you, Evans?" He said, a smile on his face. I could feel the devil horns pushing up on their band, though some strands of my hair. "A scarlet woman?"

I felt myself stiffen, but decided not to retort. Thinking I had already done enough horrible things to Mary, I vowed not to talk to him more than what was necessary that night. I simply sipped on my drink and watched the crowd. I could tell I had three pairs of eyes on me, waiting, but I didn't care. I heard Mary giggle.

"She's a devil, silly," She said, nudging James and pointing at the growing horns. I had to smile, bless Mary's innocence.

"A horny de-?" I heard Sirius start, but I swiftly elbowed him in the ribs, causing him to laugh loudly and throw a wink at Potter, who also, I noticed, stiffened. I noticed Dorcas was talking to some important looking wizard, but she actually looked genuinely looked involved in the conversation, which was a shame as I could have escaped the awkward situation I found myself in.

"Aha!" came a booming voice from behind some chiffon. We whirled around to see Slughorn, slightly pink in the face, but looking happy all the same. He grabbed my arm and Potters' and steered us away from our dates. I sent an apologetic look over my shoulder at Sirius, who grinned and shrugged back.

"Miss Evans, I am sure you have met Mr Potter already, what with both of you being Prefects?" He said, looking between the two of us. Potter looked as uncomfortable as I felt, but was wearing a smile that suited the costume he was wearing.

"Unfortunately, Professor," I said sweetly back, knowing Slughorn would miss it. He was scanning the crowd for who he could introduce us too. Potter shot me a look.

"James, there is someone here I absolutely must introduce you too – working on a Transfiguration journal of sorts. Professor McGonagall was absolutely ecstatic about your last Transfiguration mark."

"Thank you, Professor," Potter said politely back, nodding with interest, "I do very much enjoy Transfiguration."

I had to stop myself from laughing. No wonder he had gotten the badge… Who was this?

"And Miss Evans, too – it wouldn't 't hurt?" Slughorn then boomed in my direction.

"Oh, I'm hopeless at Transfiguration, sir. In fact, I think I need a tutor," I laughed, and Slughorn laughed with me, but was clasping Potter's shoulder.

"Well, perhaps you already know who to ask, Miss Evans!" He laughed, his laugh resounding in his chambers. Potter laughed politely, avoiding his eyes. "Well, let's see who else I can introduce you too…"

Slughorn strode off in one direction and I took the opportunity to go to the drinks table, hoping I could sneak something a little stronger. I was definitely going to need it to get through the evening.

I stood there deciding what I wanted, and hoping I had some time before I had to put on the Prefect, straight-A student face on. I felt somebody next to me and I prayed to whoever was listening it was Sirius, Dorcas or Mary. It wasn't.

"So, about this tutoring, Evans?"

I looked up to see Potter standing there with a very smug smile on his face. I scoffed, and moved away from him to check out the snacks. He followed me.

"I'd rather fail, Potter," I said, picking up a tart of some sort. "And I'm not rubbish at Transfiguration. I'm actually not rubbish at anything, really."

I took a bite out of my tart (Raspberry, white chocolate), and found Potter was staring at me. Swallowing, and feeling uncomfortable, I looked around for someone else to go talk too.

"And the dress," He said, crossing his arms over his chest and surveying me over his glasses. "You want everyone's eyes on you, don't you?"

"Everyone's but yours," I said, sweetly, licking white chocolate off my fingers. I cast my eyes around the chambers again, hoping Mary and Dorcas would appear.

"Please," He said, looking amused. "You haven't kept your eyes off me all evening."

"To avoid you," I retorted back quickly, in a slight panic. "You've already gotten me in enough trouble tonight."

He looked confused so I sighed, looking around for Mary. "With Mary. You might as well of told her everything, Potter. Including what we were doing this time last week!"

Potter smiled, however, it looked wry. "I'm just doing what you told me to do, Evans." He took a step closer to me, and he was much too close. "You said not to string her along, if I didn't like her…"

Another step closer, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. He was too, too close and this was far to dangerous, but why wasn't I walking away?

"Maybe you should start following your own advice?"

He was looking at me, almost patronisingly, a smile on his face. I sneered at him and stormed away from in, in any direction, I didn't care where as long as Potter wasn't there with his stupid smug smiles and cryptic messages. I saw Dorcas's orange tights clashing with the orange chiffon I was behind earlier. I stormed up to them, ready to give Mary grief about why she was with that idiot.

"Potter is infurti-"

"Stop it," She hissed, but the look on her face had stopped me before she told me too. Dorcas looked awkward, and was finding her goblet very interesting. Mary's face was cold, and hard and the normal smile she wore was no where to be seen.

"I saw it all. You weren't arguing." She said, and I noticed her hand that was clutching her goblet was shaking. "He was following you around like a puppy and you encouraged it!"

"No, I did not!" I said. "I was trying to get away from him!"

Mary scoffed. "That's not what it looked like."

"Mary, I thought we'd settled this – there's nothing going on! I'm with- with Sirius."

Mary set her goblet down and gave me a look I'd only ever seen reserved for Slytherins.

"You can't have both of them."

"Mary!" I grabbed for her hand. She wrenched it out my grasp and looked at me with watery eyes.

She then stormed past me, hitting my shoulder as she went. I felt the lump in my throat return, but I also felt anger – she obviously interpreted Potter and my interaction completely wrong. I wanted to chase after her, I wanted to punch Potter in the face….

But, all I wanted to do, more than anything, was to run – to get out of this stupid party, and this stupid dress.

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><p><em>I apologise for the lack of Sirius in the last couple of chapters - he will make his return!<em>

_I have a few things I would like your opinion on, in terms of where this story now goes - _

_Do you want to see James and Mary together for a while still? Or for James to end it and "move on" completely from Mary (and Lily). _

_Also, the relationship with Sirius is soon to end - how would you like it too? James to tell Lily "something" (trying not to give away potential plot lines I came up with) then makes her break up with him, for Lily to do it in light of everything that happens, or, perhaps, for Sirius to break it off? _

_And... Snape soon! ;) (suggestions more than welcome there!)_

_The gears are in motion to get our J/L on :)_

_Review your thoughts on this chapter and any other comments :D_


	10. Takes One to Know One

**Chapter Ten**

**Authors Note:** _I am quite frustrated that I haven't been able to update as regularly as I would like – real life is being quite demanding lately! Thank you all, once again, for your kind reviews- I love that we're over the 100 mark! Most of you seemed to like the drama from Chapter Nine and I'm glad – it was fun to write! _

_Some matters of business:_

_Some of you have asked how long I plan to make this – I would like to think I had about 30 chapters worth of ideas like some of the fantastic works out there – but my paper and pen plan shows me about 20 – however! In saying that, some of these chapters I had not planned – so it could be more._

_This leads me onto another point of business – my original plan does not plan for a happy ending for our two. I'm still not sure how I will be ending this, to be very honest. But, as I have said before, a happy ending is (currently) not in the offing for our love birds… so, in Chapter Seven, the Sirius and Lily on the desk business, was yes – meant to be them doing the deed, so to speak. As many of you noticed, I left it quite ambiguous because I wasn't too sure about it at the time – but I knew it would have been something that would get under James' skin – whether or not it would be sex itself or just an act. As I progressed I thought, for the sake of maybe giving James and Lily a happy ending, Sirius and Lily did not have sex. I hope this makes some of you feel a little bit better about the situation. Lily doesn't actually know what Sirius told James before James stormed in (Chapter Seven) – but is using the fact that it gets under James' skin to infuriate him more, and is using it to her advantage. _

_Thank you for all your suggestions as to what you would like to see! I like to have you all as involved as possible – so please don't be shy _

_This is the chapter many of you have been waiting for… :)_

_Onwards…_

_Much love!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you read here, all J.K. Rowling. You Me at Six (surprise, surprise) for title and lyrics!**

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><p><em>My head's filled with thoughts of discontent, time with you is time not well spent...<em>

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><p>Mary hadn't spoken to me for three days.<p>

Dorcas, who obviously had opinions of her own on the matter, avoided both of us, refusing to pick a side. Thinking that I had done absolutely nothing wrong, I refused to speak or look at the pair of them, turning what shouldn't have even existed into one big mess.

It was one of the reasons why I was sitting by myself in the library, pretending to be engrossed in work should either of them come into the library. I frowned to myself when I felt the urge to cry – I wasn't used to not speaking to them, to not be complaining about this Transfiguration essay, to not be trying to distract Mary into doing something else…

I pinched my eyes shut and shifted in my seat, trying to focus on my work again. I had thought long and hard about Saturday night – what had happened, and if I had really strung Potter along like a puppy on a leash. Potter had left Slughorns' immediately after Mary, followed by Dorcas, leaving Sirius and I. I didn't want to go back to the Common Room knowing the three of them would be there, and had decided to linger. I was feeling particularly awkward – for some reason, Sirius seemed to have not noticed his best friend following me, nor my fight with my own best friend, and we spent the rest of the night talking to Sughorn's guests, dancing with a few of our peers, and I noticed Sirius' delight in dancing with me in front of Regulus, watching his face twist in what I hoped was jealousy.

I was starting to come to the realisation, conclusion, whatever it was… that I had liked my life in Hogwarts last year – when Sirius Black was just that stupid James Potter's best friend – and I had hated them, Potter especially so. When a fight with Potter, which was then and still is now a regular occurrence, didn't cause Mary to hate my guts. When I didn't question who I was, what I was doing…When things were simple. When the boys in my year where entertainment and distractions enough.

A shadow fell over me and I sighed, audibly, as I knew who it was. The leather and apple-pie smell I loved to hate and just his sheer presence told me it was Potter.

"What?" I said coolly, not bothering to look up.

"You should be moving off, Evans," He said, matching my coolness. At this I looked up, confused. When I did I almost recoiled in shock, but managed to compose myself. Potter had a split lip and a bruise was blossoming on the left side of his face. He looked thoroughly miserable.

"What-?" I began, but he cut me off with a simple look. Thoroughly confused at the boy who had stood before me in a towel, insinuating things and talking in riddles, who had implied I liked him and vice versa only three days ago, had seemingly taken steps backward – to almost what we were last year.

"Please don't talk to me more than is necessary, Evans," He said, with all the arrogance I knew him best for. "I owled the Prefects yesterday to say the meeting has been changed to, well, now."

Narrowing my eyes at his comment, I gestured to him. "And what is this, a personal escort?"

"Don't flatter yourself," He scoffed, and then nodded his head over to a corner of the library. "You aren't the only one who forgot. This years Prefects are useless."

"Oh we're just following by example," I said back, turning my nose up at him. Hastily packing up and throwing things into my bag I pushed past him before I took out my anger about everything out on him to give him a black eye to match his split lip.

This is what I was sick of, ultimately. Potter and the constant changes in moods, personalities, our exchanges. Hating him was simple, easy.

I eventually got to the Prefect's Office, which was buzzing with chatter. There was a casual atmosphere in the room, with most prefects in the lounge rather than Meeting Room. As I walked in, I noticed Claudia sitting at… Potters' desk? When I looked closer I noticed they had swapped, Potter's signed Quaffle and other bits and pieces now on the desk that I had seen adorned with Flowers and other such things that Claudia liked. Claudia looked up as she heard the Portrait hole close and smiled at me.

"You and Potter swapped desks?" was my form of greeting. She, surprisingly, laughed.

"Yeah," She said, looking up from her notes and reaching to tuck a flower that was falling out the vase back in. "James was going on about a bad feeling he had sitting here… a draft, I dunno."

She was laughing, and I almost joined her. I knew what the bad feeling Potter was feeling was. I rolled my eyes and joined the Prefects in the lounge. Potter soon walked in with four more sheepish looking Prefects, and we moved into the Meeting Room. I wasn't the only one staring at Potters' face as he handed out an Agenda and what looked like new patrol schedules. I was confused as to why he hadn't gone to see Madame Pomfrey – or simply tried to heal himself, or asked Sirius who I knew was good at healing wounds, to do it. I looked down, tearing my eyes away eventually from the mess that was Potter's face, to see that no longer was I scheduled with Potter for Friday night patrols. In fact, there had been several changes. The biggest one was the fact that I was back on patrols, on a Monday, with Regulus Black. I involuntarily looked over the table to where Regulus sat, and noticed he was frowning at the schedule. He looked up at Potter who was making his way back to the Head of the Table.

"Can't you two make up your mind?" He said, eyebrows arched at Potter. He motioned towards the schedules. "This is getting a bit ridiculous."

Regulus' voice, which was softer, almost colder than Sirius' sounded amused. I was about to say something on Claudia's behalf, but she was engrossed in checking the agenda, and the way Potters' jaw had clenched told me perhaps Regulus was only talking to Potter. I noticed Potter's fists were clenching and I sensed he was in a fighting mood.

"It's not a problem," I interjected, only that seemed to irritate Potter more. Regulus smirked and settled back in his chair.

"Of course you don't see the problem, Evans." He directed at me, but his eyes flicked back to Potter. "Pathetic, really."

Potter whirled around and was about to reach for Regulus when Claudia called for everyone's attention, seemingly unaware as to what was going on with her partner. I narrowed my eyes at both Regulus and Potter, taking out my Portfolio and a quill.

"As you've probably noticed, the patrolling schedules have changed again," Claudia said, and I noticed Regulus looking thoroughly amused. "It's getting to that time in the year when our extra-curricular commitments and studies are changing – so I apologise for any changes, this should hopefully be the last of them."

"What extra-curricular activities?" Regulus interrupted, eyes flicking to me but resting on Potter. He was smirking.

"Are you done?" Potter snapped, fists clenching again. "Get out if you're not serious, and hand in your badge while you're at it. I'm sure your mother would love to read _that letter_ from Slughorn."

Regulus was still smirking, but he settled back into his chair, apparently done. Dominic caught my eye and mouthed "What is going on?" and I shrugged. Claudia was starting to look miffed, and Potter looked murderous. I was starting to think that Potter's battle wounds from earlier and Regulus where somehow linked.

"We need to start doing the Christmas Holidays roster for patrolling, so please see one of us as soon as your know your plans as to whether you are staying or not." She continued in a strained voice, looking between Potter and Regulus to see who would interrupt her next. "In other business, I think we've become a bit lenient on those we catch out of bed after curfew…"

I zoned out, looking between Potter and Regulus. Regulus was no longer smirking, but wasn't looking at all interested. Potter had seemed to be trying to relax, unclenching his fists. I wanted to know what was going on, what Regulus was going on about, but at the same time I didn't care. This is what I was sick of – the changes. Regulus had never been nice to me – but he had never been cruel or taunting. I had also never seen him push Potter's buttons so – even though his relationship with his brother was anything but friendly, and his brother was best friends with the Head Boy, Regulus seemed to, or so I thought, have the maturity to not bring it up, to not act on it.

Finally the meeting was coming to a close, and as usual Regulus was the first to leave. I looked over to see Claudia was having words with Potter, most probably about his behaviour at the meeting. Deciding to not linger and that I really did need to finish that Transfiguration essay, I made my way back to the Library.

I returned to my table to find Dorcas sitting across from where I had been, staring out the window, looking bored. She started when I put my bag down on the table, but didn't object to my presence. She hadn't exactly been unfriendly, but she had certainly been indifferent to me the last couple of days, making me feel as if she had indeed taken Mary's side in this. So, naturally I was surprised when she smiled at me.

"Sirius was looking for you." She said simply, watching me as I unpacked my bag to resume my essay.

"Oh?" I said, finally taking a seat and trying to organise myself again. I also wasn't trying to be overly friendly – I didn't understand Dorcas' sudden burying of the hatchet.

"I don't know why he didn't know you'd be at a Prefect meeting with Potter though. Remus knew about it." She said thoughtfully, talking as if we hadn't not spoken in three days. She grinned suddenly, "He's sporting a brilliant black eye – he probably needs you to kiss it better."

I looked up quickly, frowning. Potter had a split lip, Sirius a black eye… "That is odd." I said, more to myself but it answered Dorcas as well. She was watching me, almost looking a little confused herself.

"I'm surprised you haven't packed up and run off to go find him." She said, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I need to finish this." I said simply, trying to avoid a conversation, but at the same time I couldn't help it. "What was that meant to mean?"

"Nothing!" Dorcas said, leaning forward on the table. "Nothing, Lily. I'm not here to argue. I think I've been a pretty shit friend as it is."

I sighed, and pinched my eyes shut, thinking to myself that I also didn't want to argue with her, that I wanted a conversation with her, that I wanted things to be back to the way they were. "As have I."

She smiled at that, sitting back in her seat. I looked around the Library, noticing that the Prefects that Potter had dragged out with me had also returned.

"Was I really encouraging Potter?" I finally asked, in a voice that was actually a lot smaller than I had been expecting. Dorcas sighed, and leant back forward on the table again, looking thoughtful. I appreciated it, I knew she would rather be thinking about other things.

"I don't think you mean to." She said finally. "You and Potter have always been at each other, but this year it's different. Mary's just…reacting to it."

I nodded, fiddling with my quill but I wasn't completely sure I knew what she meant. "Give her time," Dorcas continued. "She's just coming to terms with the fact that Potter's not as head over heels for her as she'd like."

"He's an idiot," I said, meaning it. "There's nothing about Mary not to like."

"She's not you." Dorcas said with a smirk, laughing loudly (and causing various glares in our direction) when she saw the look on my face. Potter did not like me, Potter loathed me, as proven by today.

I looked down to my work, ready to resume again, feeling better that at least Dorcas was speaking to me again. "I should really apologise to her-" I stopped suddenly realising that my Transfiguration book, in which I had tucked notes for my essay into, was not where it should have been. I restrained all urges to scream in frustration – I knew where it was, and I was doing this way too often for my liking.

"What's up?" Dorcas asked, looking down to where I was.

"For crying out loud," I growled, causing her to look a little alarmed. "Can you just watch my stuff? I just need to go back to the Prefect's Office."

"Sure," She said, spotting the Teen Witch under some parchment and grabbing it, sitting back in her chair.

I all but stormed back to the Office, scaring some first years in the process. Obviously finishing this essay peavefully, and as stress free as possible was not in the offing. I had lied to Potter at Slughorns' – Transfiguration was the only subject that took me longer to grasp than the others, and McGonagall was a tough woman to please.

I almost skidded to a half before the Portrait of Finbar O'Grady, the first Head Boy of Hogwarts, as I noticed he was slightly ajar. I mentally chided the person who left it open, and I was about to pull it open when I heard a hiss through the gap.

"Moony! Watch it!" It was Potter's voice. He hissed in pain again and I heard Remus make an impatient sound.

"Oh, hold still. You've had much worse." Remus sounded amused. I heard movment, and Potter's hiss of pain again.

"Yes, but all those were worth it." Potter said, sounding slightly muffled and I guessed Remus was fixing his lip. "This was over complete rubbish."

"I wouldn't call Lily rubbish," Remus chided, still sounding amused. As if my heart wasn't already thumping in my chest, the mention of my name made me sure that they'd be able to hear it through my chest. Potter's face had been about me? Sirius' black eye, about me? I had every urge to storm in there and demand details, but I knew Potter wouldn't give them to be.

"Tell me again why he punched you first?" Remus said. "There – all done. The money maker is perfect once more."

I heard a whack and Remus laugh. Potter sighed.

"I had decided, especially after Slughorns', that whatever he is doing with Lily has to stop. And I _know _what he's doing with her, I have Regulus to thank for that."

I felt my eyebrows knot together in a frown as I heard this, my mouth going dry.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked. "What is he doing?"

"Oh come on, Moony." Potter had said, sounding annoyed. "Sirius is in his own personal quest to make sure his mother dies of a heart attack from his antics. Getting sorted into Gryffindor didn't quite do it, so running away from home and living with Blood traitors got him disinherited, and then he 'dates' Lily, a Muggle-born, and makes sure Regulus sees it. I heard the howler from Walburga last night."

"And Sirius is denying this?" Remus asked, sounding thoughtful. I didn't realise my fists were clenched, my nails digging into my palms to the point that it was painful. My mouth was completely dry, my heart still thumping. Suddenly, everything was making sense. Suddenly, I knew I was a complete idiot.

"Of course," Potter said. "He punched me when I confronted him – I guess he didn't like hearing the truth, because I know _he doesn't know_ what he's doing with Lily… I don't want him to get in more trouble with his family, especially with their views on things, and with everything that's happening…"

"And Lily?" Remus asked, voice soft.

"What about her?" Potter snapped, making me recoil – I could imagine the look on his face. He then sighed. "I tried – I told her…it may have been cryptic but I told her. I've been as much of a dick to her to maybe make her leave Sirius first. I've been just as bad as him with the whole Mary thing, but even that didn't work. So I guess she finds out the hard way."

"You're making it seem like she deserves it," Remus said, and I could imagine the look on his face – eyebrow arched with arms crossed.

"She doesn't," Potter said, his voice softer and calmer now. "But it'll be for the best – things can go back to normal. At least he agreed to break it off with her today after our punch-up… he'll give her some bullshit reason that'll match his reputation but at least… I don't know…"

"She'll be none the wiser to the family stuff?" Remus suggested.

"Yeah," Potter said. "Anyway… thanks for this. I guess we have homework to go do."

I could hear them moving, and I knew that soon I'd be face to face with Potter, but at the same time I wanted to face him- demand that he take back all he'd just said. It couldn't… he must have known I'd been standing there, listening; it was him meddling, as usual.

But a voice that sounded suspiciously like Dorcas told me off – I was being an idiot. This time, I knew I couldn't blame anything on Potter – everything he'd said, or done, the personality shifts – they made sense. I swallowed what I knew were tears, and walked away from the Office – to go be dumped by Sirius Black.

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><p><em>I hope you liked it! Please let me know what you think – and also what you would like to see! I hope I haven't made Sirius seem too much like a bad-guy, and that things from previous chapters maybe make more sense? I sort of got the idea from the You Me At Six song 'Jealous Minds Think Alike' – if you look up the lyrics they really summarise what I was trying to go for…<em>

_Anyway, only you can let me know! :)_


	11. Jealous Minds Think Alike

Chapter 11 – Contagious Chemistry

**Author's Note:**

_I really don't know how to start this author's note, as I am deeply, deeply, unbelievably sorry and so embarrassed by the amount of time this update took. This chapter lay unfinished for a very long time, and changed several times too._

_Many, many thanks for the __kick up the butts, __lovely, amazing reviews this story has gotten so far. I won't make this long, Merlin knows you've all waited long enough!_

_Disclaimer: Just doing this for fun, it's all J.K. Rowling. Lyrics belong to The Vaccines._

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><p><em>I'm perfectly aware of what I'm yet to know – The Vaccines, Under Your Thumb.<em>

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><p>I don't know how I made it back to the library without cursing at someone, hexing or punching some poor innocent in the corridor. All I could see was red. My fists clenched and then unclenched almost without my control.<p>

I was humiliated. My train of thought had changed from how dare Potter meddle in my life, to how dare Sirius treat me like an idiot. I knew I had been used, and while I didn't quite understand the reasons why Sirius had done it, I knew that I didn't want to be the victim in this situation. I wasn't upset that it was over – how could I have been? Our relationship was hardly something I could write home about. But the fights with Potter, with Mary… I had thought I was standing up for something that could have potentially developed.

How wrong I was.

Dorcas was still at my table minding my belongings. She was chatting in hushed tones to a Hufflepuff in our year, Caroline Versh. She shared some of our classes and was nice enough, if not gossipy and easily shocked that not all of us girls in Hogwarts kept out of trouble. I had to roll my eyes when I noticed Dorcas was explaining the Defence homework, which meant I couldn't get rid of her easily. She was the last person I needed to see right now. In fact, I didn't think I should really see or talk to anyone in my current state of mind. I was paranoid that Sirius would jump out of nowhere, and declare it over in front of everyone.

I flopped down into my seat, avoiding eye contact with both of them. Dorcas stopped mid sentence and looked at me, sitting there with my arms crossed tightly across my chest, chewing my bottom lip.

"Hey Lily," Caroline whispered and I gave her a slight smile, avoiding Dorcas' eyes.

"Where's your book?"

"Hmm?"

I didn't want to answer her. I couldn't trust myself. On one hand, I wanted to tell Dorcas the truth – with James Potter in the Prefect's Office, and oh, did you know Sirius has been using me and plans to dump me the only way he knows how? But I somehow I knew that Dorcas would give me the "And you're really surprised?" lecture. I needed to formulate a plan to save face in all this.

"You went to go get your book…" Dorcas said, slowly. She was regarding me with an arched eyebrow.

"Oh," I said, dismissing it with a wave of my hand and gathering up my essay. "Someone had picked it up, I'll just have to borrow one until I get it back. How are things in Hufflepuff, Caroline?"

Dorcas was still watching me, obviously noting my flushed cheeks and dismissive manner. Caroline perked up at the opportunity to gossip about her House and leant across the table to whisper the latest scandal amongst the badgers.

"Oh, excellent," She said sarcastically. "In fact, it's why I'm here, to escape Quinton Bennett and Natasha's domestic in our Common Room. Honestly, those two are so dramatic."

"Isn't Natasha your best friend?" I asked, confused. The two were often inseparable, and you could count on them to spread your dirtiest laundry. Dorcas gave me a look as Caroline made an indignant sound – obviously she'd heard the story already. I was spared, however, when a shadow fell over our desk and Caroline's rant was reduced to a squeak. She flushed and I looked up to find my eyes narrow and fists clench – Potter. He was holding my Transfiguration textbook out as if it were a dirty sock. I noticed Remus pass, free study desks in his sights. He gave me a slight wave as he passed, but my attention was brought back to Potter who dropped the text in front of me.

"Must I always pick up after you, Evans?" He said shortly, already walking over to where Remus was saving the study desks. I bit the inside of my cheek and watched my fists clench and unclench. I was trying to be mature, to not fling my textbook at his head, to not storm over there and demand why he found it necessary to make everyone elses' business his. Without his butting in he and Sirius wouldn't have come to blows. I wouldn't be about to be dumped, and humiliated. I thought about how much simpler my life would be without Sirius, without Potter, without fighting with Mary.

Dorcas was watching me, an eyebrow arched again. She was looking over my shoulder, and I turned to see Potter at a bookshelf near us, scanning the shelves for a book. I noticed his lip was no longer split, thanks to Remus. I turned back around and met her gaze.

"You should ask Mary for these wicked references she got for that essay," She said, nonchalantly. I noticed Caroline's ears prick up. No doubt she'd heard about the fight, and that Mary and I weren't speaking. My stomach turned at the mention of Mary.

"How much does she hate me?" I asked Dorcas. I too tried to sound nonchalant, however it came out a little shaky.

"She doesn't _hate _you, Mary doesn't know what hate is," Dorcas snorted, and Caroline had to agree. I wanted to arch an eyebrow at Caroline and tell her to return to _her _best friend in a crisis, but I didn't want to cause another unnecessary fight.

"So," Dorcas continued. "I know where she is if you want to apologise."

Caroline was looking between us and I swallowed. Did I want to? Would I need to, once Sirius found me? _Yes… _a little voice in my head scolded, which again sounded suspiciously like Dorcas. Regardless of what was going to happen I had still been a horrible friend, and they way I treated Potter… wait. Treated Potter?

"…I'm not accepting it until you do what we discussed, Padfoot."

I whirled back around to see Sirius leaning against the bookshelf, hands in pockets, where Potter was (_still?) _looking for his book. I felt my heart leap into my throat, and almost felt a sense of panic. How had I not seen him come into the library? Dorcas was grinning at the exchange behind me.

"There, he found you." She said, gesturing towards Sirius and Potter, and Caroline was watching them in earnest – I could almost see her taking mental notes about the afternoon she spent with the Gryffindors – whatever was going on with her and Natasha would be forgotten over this piece of gossip. And did I want to add to that? Did I want it known amongst my year that I was being dumped by the Sirius Black?

I was about to hurriedly unpack my bag and make it seem like I was too engrossed in my essay, and stall Sirius. My horrified look had not gone unnoticed by Dorcas.

"And yet you don't seem like you wanted to be found by him…what's going on?"

Fortunately, or unfortunately, Sirius came over and placed a hand on my shoulder, freezing the retort I had ready for Dorcas in my throat.

"Lily," He said, trademark grin in place. "Busy?"

_Yes, terribly so, could not possibly put this essay off any longer… say it Evans!_

I could feel Potter's eyes on the back of my head, Caroline was fluttering her eyelashes in Sirius' direction, and Dorcas had leant back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest, eyebrows furrowed. I sighed in defeat. I couldn't put this off any longer. Did I still really want to remain in whatever I had with Sirius when it was made obvious by Potter it hadn't meant the same for him?

_Yes,_ my inner Dorcas snorted. I flashed a smile at Sirius and grabbed my bag. With Potter's eyes on the back of my head I felt encouraged to think that maybe Potter had got it wrong, that Sirius wanted to simply hang out.

"No," I said, happy that my voice didn't shake, and grabbed his hand. "Let's go?"

I knew that I had Dorcas' eyes, as well Potter's and Caroline's, on us and I noticed that Sirius's hand was rather slack in mine. _This is it. _

I didn't know where Sirius wanted to go, but I let him lead me out of the library and down the corridor, before pulling me into an empty classroom. Do I let him know I know the truth? Do I listen to what he was going to make up to get rid of me? Do I try and convince him that I was worth keeping?

When he closed the classroom door, however, I knew that my temper and the part of me, the rational side of me, knew that I was being taken for a ride and that it had stop. _Have everything go back to normal…_

"I know," I said simply, pushing past him to sit on a desk. It was all I could manage. I didn't want to scream and shout at him, although the crazy Lily wanted to. I wanted to slap him, storm out with a "How dare you!"

"James?" He sighed. I glanced up to find him looking a little guilty.

"I overheard him talking to Remus," I said, going back to pulling a thread that was loose on my skirt. "He didn't outright tell me…"

I was clinging to the hope that Sirius was going to declare Potter didn't know what he was talking about, that whatever I'd overheard was just Potter being dramatic…

"He might as well have," Snorted Sirius. I felt my hope deflate in my chest. He ran a hand through his hair and took a seat next to me on the adjacent empty desk. "I guess now is a good time to tell the truth."

I remembered what Remus had said_, __"She'll be none the wiser to the family stuff?" _

"I know it has something to do with your family," I said. I remembered what Sirius had told me about his mother, and how she wouldn't have approved of me. I remembered James declaring Sirius was on a personal quest to give his mother a heart attack. I still didn't quite understand my role in it, or what Sirius' logic was.

Sirius snorted, but he looked less than amused. "The pedigree I carry would swallow you. James claims I am using you to make a point to my mother."

"Are you?" I asked, voice small. When I thought about it, being used to tick off one's mother was a damn right better than being used for amusement. _Was he ever truly interested, though, Evans?_

"Possibly," Sirius sighed, pushing his sleeves up his arms. "Probably. I mean… when I saw you that night in the Common Room, I'd had a fight with Regulus, again, about his new friendships…"

Sirius trailed off and I raised an eyebrow, but it was clear he didn't want to elaborate. "And Merlin, you're a sight for sore eyes, Evans. Remus always said you were alright, and James tends to judge people rather harshly whenever he doesn't see eye to eye with them… I thought, I'd been sorted into Gryffindor, hung out with the wrong sort, ran away from home to live with 'blood-traitors'…dating a Muggle-born witch would surely drive the point home right? That enough was enough, I'd chosen my path and fuck their prejudices."

I watched him as he pushed off the desk and paced before me. I sighed, thinking that I didn't really involve myself in the rubbish that was the prejudice about blood status in the Wizarding World. Of course, over the years I'd gotten the occasional insult, but nothing I couldn't shrug off, and most of the time it came from the Slytherins and I couldn't have cared less what those slimy gits thought of me. I watched Sirius chew on his bottom lip and couldn't help feeling sorry for him. I knew what it was like to feel like a stranger in my your own home. While my parents thought it was wonderful I was a witch, I'm sure my sister could tell me 50 different reasons why I didn't belong, why I was a freak. I would assume it would be the same as being a Gryffindor in a home full of Slytheirns…

I guess there were worse things in life that being dumped and humiliated by a boy. I jumped off the desk and placed a hand on Sirius' arm, causing him to stop pacing and sigh when he looked at the smile on my face.

"It's okay," I said. He scoffed and I squeezed his arm. "Really. I'm not going to pretend that I understand pureblood families and what you're going through, though I have some idea…"

"It's not okay," He said, pacing again and causing my arm to drop off his. "None of this is, Lily. The stupid prejudices of my family, or the way I used you."

"You could have used me for a lot worse," I suggested, shrugging. And it was true.

"That doesn't make this right." He said, smiling wryly. I leant back against the desk again and crossed my arms over my chest, meeting Sirius' eyes and smiling slightly.

"Do you still need to make that point to your mother?" I asked, without trying to sound hopeful. Really, this was a silly reason to end things, wasn't it? Rational Lily was furious with my train of thought.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "How can you be so okay with this?"

I shrugged, smiling and looking up at him through my lashes. He ran a hand through his hair again, and cool gray eyes met mine, almost apologetically.

"Merlin knows, as much as I'd like to…James…" He trailed off, eyes darting to the floor. I sighed again in frustration this time, it was always Potter. And I realised, as much as maybe I wanted to still see Sirius, it was foolish of me to think that I could have him without Potter somehow involved, and with Potter came drama, and no Mary.

"Ah, yes." I said bitterly. "I suppose you can see someone know that he, and everyone else, approves of."

"Lily," Sirius frowned. "It's not like that. I didn't come into this with the right intentions, and James knew that. Whatever you may think of him, he doesn't agree with what my family does, far from it. He was right when he said I was using you. It was Regulus calling you a Mud- insulting you that pissed him right off. And led to this."

He was pointing to his black eye, but didn't look angry about it. "He didn't want you to get hurt, is all."

Something fluttered in my chest but I pushed it aside. Wanting to get out of this room, and to start the rest of my sixth year Potter and Sirius free I shot Sirius a grin.

"So, do you want me to spread around I found you with another Ravenclaw seventh year and instead of apologising you asked me to join in?" I parroted a rumour Dorcas had told me about Potter weeks ago. Sirius let out a bark of laughter again and flashed me a grin of his own.

"Would it be too much to ask?"

I giggled, and he winked. I felt the knot that had been in my stomach since I'd overheard Potter earlier unwind. It was a little awkward now, the air a little thick in the empty classroom. I couldn't help feel a little upset, but at least rational Lily, and Dorcas, would be pleased. I hadn't cried, hadn't flung myself at his feet, begged him to give it all another chance. Without this, there'd be no more fights and angry kisses with Potter, and no more fights with Mary.

"Thanks, Lily," Sirius said, a soft smile on his face, eyes bright. "I suppose it would be awfully cliché to ask to still be mates?"

"Please, Black," I scoffed, walking onwards the door of the empty classroom, "Potter couldn't handle it."

"You might be surprised." Sirius said, reaching for his own bag and following me out. I arched an eyebrow at him, and raised my hand in a wave, before walking down the corridor towards the Gryffindor tower. A quick glance over my shoulder told me Sirius wasn't following, but had turned in the opposite direction, back towards the library.

So that was it, I mused to myself. I could find Mary, I could grovel at her feet, and never have to worry about Potter coming between us again. _"He didn't want you to get hurt, is all." _Sirius had said.

Potter's angry voice replayed in my mind, "_I tried – I told her…it may have been cryptic but I told her. I've been as much of a dick to her to maybe make her leave Sirius first."_

That fluttering had come back, but so had the lump in my throat and burning in my eyes that told me perhaps I was going to cry. Shaking my head to clear Potter's voice from my mind, and to shake away my stupid thoughts on the matter, I couldn't understand why I was upset. In terms of break ups, that had been rather painless.

Should I have been dramatic, caused more of a scene?

Was it because I hadn't saved face, like I had wanted to? Hadn't beaten Sirius to it, in the end? That the tiresome conflict with Potter and the problems with Mary had been for nothing? Although I never really had much to do with Potter in the past despite the odd argument, he had gotten under my skin in a matter of weeks in a way he had never managed to before. We had kissed, I had seen him shirtless, been so close to him…

I stopped dead in my tracks, causing a poor first year Gryffindor to almost collide into the back of me. I wanted to slap myself – I should be thinking of Sirius, how I'd no longer get that attention. That I no longer had the thrill of a boy in my life to give me something other than school work and this stupid war to think about.

I sucked in a deep breath and muttered the password to the Fat Lady, hoping that Mary and Dorcas weren't in the Common Room, so that I didn't have to explain to Dorcas my behavior in the library earlier, and I wasn't sure that I could apologize to Mary without bursting into tears, or possibly saying something that I would regret.

_You were right, Mary, I couldn't have both. I can't even keep one._

But no such luck. I climbed through to straighten up and find both of them sitting at a table, both facing my direction, homework spread out in front of them, but clearly involved in conversation. Dorcas saw me and stopped talking to Mary, to raise an eyebrow and cross her arms over her chest, fixing me a look. Mary looked my way, and didn't glare at me as she had done in the last three days whenever our paths crossed. I nodded my head in acknowledgement and planned to go strait to our dormitory, have a few minutes to myself, to calm down and process what had happened, and how I would explain it to the girls. But Mary's expression of concern stopped me. As did James Potter coming down the stairs to the boy's dormitories.

I burst into tears.

I couldn't explain it; rational Lily had no words for this. I wasn't _that_ upset over Sirius, and I wasn't going to let the stupid prejudices of purebloods, and this stupid war, dictate my feelings. Perhaps it was just that this day had been crazy, that Potter would no longer have any reason to glare at me the way he had done when he noticed me, and that I'd finally be able to talk to Mary again. And why shouldn't I milk the break-up, crazy Lily suggested. I'd get me the attention of any another boy, no doubt. Would Mary be more forgiving if I groveled for forgiveness in tears?

I felt Dorcas' arm around me, and wiped my eyes, taking a shaky breath. She was steering me towards the table where Mary sat, and I let her.

"Sirius?" Mary asked, softly, kindly, in a way that was just so her. I nodded.

"He… he just ended things." It was much simpler than, Oh, he just used me in some personal quest and it's okay really, I couldn't care less, I just don't know why I'm bursting into tears over it…

"What?" Dorcas said sharply. I'd never gotten the impression she was rooting for us, but she'd never give up an excuse to hex someone. "Why?"

"Some other girl," I shrugged, wiping away some stray tears. That other girl would be his mother, the rational side of me scolded, and I had to wonder if being honest would just be simpler. Too late now…

"Oh, Lily…" Mary sighed, brown eyes round. I noticed she looked towards the stairs, where Potter was watching us, frown on his face. His eyes met mine before he turned around to go back to his dormitory.

"It's okay, really," I said, because it was, wasn't it? "I'm just going to wash my face."

Mary nodded at me, and Dorcas resumed her seat, fiddling with her wand.

I had reached the stairs and was about to climb them when,

"Evans."

It was Potter, coming back down the stairs from his dormitory. He touched my wrist gently, and I found myself holding my breath, his slight touch almost burning my wrist. He bent down to mutter in my ear, face neutral, "You almost had me going there."

He straitened, a smirk on his handsome face, shoving his hands in his pocket he glanced over his shoulder at me before climbing out the portrait hole.

I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding and felt my brows narrow at his back, out of habit.

I touched the spot he had on my wrist, and couldn't comprehend the disappointment I was feeling…

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

_If you made it this far, and it wasn't completely awful (and hell, if it was) review! Let me know!_

_After much consideration I didn't really want Sirius and Lily, or Lily, to be dramatic about the break up, and I felt the quicker the ended it, the quicker I could get onto writing some epic Lily/James action. I hope it read okay, and was believable. I had many ways of Lily beating Sirius to it, to cause even more problems etc, but they just didn't feel right. One plot line involved Lily just marching up to James and grabbing him and kissing him, in the hope Caroline would run off and tell, well, everyone and it get back to Sirius. But, in the end, maturity won. Damn maturity!_

_Like I said, I hope it read okay, and I hope it has satisfied the very, very long wait. _

_Sirius' lines "I guess now is a good time to tell the truth" and "the pedigree I carry will swallow you", actually go together (I guess know is a good time to tell the truth, the pedigree I carry will swallow you) and are from the You Me At Six song "Jealous Minds Think Alike" which I thought suited Sirius so well (some other lyrics include "Just imagine what they'll think when they see me lead you north, oh they'll be losing sleep" (fitting no?)) that I just had to use it. Also just using Sirius and pedigree together made me giggle. _

_Until next time! Loads of L/J action ahead… stay tuned ;) _


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